Well, I can only really talk about my own marriage. I know that what works for us won't work for everyone, probably not even a majority.

I'm a pretty submissive woman. Even if I hadn't vowed to obey my husband, I probably would anyway. He knows that, if he decides he has to put his foot down over my objections, I will support him. So, when I voice a contradictory opinion, he doesn't feel like I'm challenging him.. I think that makes him more open to civil discussion. Although we both know he has the final say - because I've given him that power - ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the decisions we come to are a compromise we're both happy with.

Congratulations! As long as it works for you, and the decisions reached are in both your best healthy interest, great! He sounds like he merely needs a sounding board, to "guide" him in his decisions. Glad it works for you guys.

This is an interesting topic Koolman. I believe everything should be taken in moderation. Pride can be a wonderful asset if used in the right way but it also can be so powerful that a person finds themselves being successful on the outside but dying in the inside.

What I mean is that sometimes a person has the intentions of letting their pride be so strong they think they are helping those they love have a better life but in realty they are pushing them away and things are being slowly torn apart. As for give and take in a relationship the way I have learned and still am learning is to really listen to my partner and keep an open mind. I carefully weigh the pros and cons and explore my feelings to see if I can adjust to a particular change or if will be something I know I will feel uncomfortable with later on.

To me there are things I believe in very strongly as that is a part of me and something I stand for in this world. This does not mean I would not be willing to listen to other views or possibly reconsider my ways however I think it is important that a person does not lose their identity in the process just to not make waves in the relationship. That would be like putting ketchup on eggs like some people do lol. Well that would be quite dumb of me to sit there and eat those eggs if I truly did not like ketchup.

Well relationships work in the same way too many spices can make it overwhelming and before ya know it you are not sure what you like or dislike anymore. Find what works for you in this life but also don't be afraid to try new things it is the only way to learn more about yourself. Just my thoughts:)

Great, katie! Thanks. I agree about pride driving a wedge in love.

Agree on everything you said lol.

Pride causes me a lot of trouble, but when I do let go of it, I have noticed it can be my greatest ally. My husband is as stubborn or more so than me when it comes to not wanting to admit being wrong. I have learned that both of us tend to be partially wrong in every fight we have, and I have also noticed that if I will own up to my wrong and apologize, then my husband is more likely to apologize too. A part of me hates to have to apologize first, but it is always worth it. If I make myself humble before my husband, then he becomes much nicer, caring, loving and repentant too.

Okay!! I will WOMAN up and apologize first...Ugh! Lol. I hate fighting and arguing but I hate the silent treatment even more! Here I go. I'm fixing to apologize...stand by.

Stef

Apologies exchanged! Does anyone have any good book ideas on Pride?

When it comes to arguments, it's hard to be the first one to apologize. But someone's gotta do it. If you both wait for the other to apologize, you'll be waiting a pretty long time, and you'll kill off your relationship in the process. If your partner feels any sort of affection for you at all, their response to "I'm sorry" won't be "Good. Don't do it again," but, "Me, too. How can we get past this?"

There's really no sense waiting for them to apologize. You can't control your partner's actions. You can't make them. You're a different matter. Reach through the shell of your own pride and help your partner break through theirs, too.

The truth is, we're all right, and we're all wrong, when we argue. I agree, the goal is to tone down the pride and humbly apologize...immediately...don't let it fester. Then love drives a wedge through pride, instead of vice versa. It's not important to be RIGHT all the time, but it is important to be loved all the time.

Hey Koolman, in my personal experience what works best is to REALLY know each other. If you each know which values, morale, religious, social, etc each one of you live your life under it's not that hard after that. What I mean by this is that one can always change and become a better person but never should we change because the other person wants us to, it's better to grow together, communication and respect to me are the best tools to use in order for a relationship to be successful. Sometimes you have to pick your battles, this doesn't mean not speaking your mind and letting the other person know what's bothering you, but sometimes you just have to allow for space between you, this way each person can analyze the situation and then with a clear mind you can talk to each other and solve any problem. it's tricky the give and take part but I've come to experience only recently, that as long as the person is right for you, it is really something that flows and I don't have to try that hard to make it work.