Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Please Help!

aclay
aclay

Here is a prayer that I wrote...any advice would be immensely appreciated!


I pray with all of my heart and soul right now. I have lost my job and I pray that I will find one soon. There has been a lot of turmoil between Ishan and me. I love him so much, but the feelings might not be reciprocal. Please make this not be the case. He has expressed to me the following:
That I am emotionally dependent and need a network of friends outside of him and his circle
That (as harsh as it sounds) I can be annoying, self-absorbed, narcissistic and parasitic
That I need to have a healthier relationship with my own family and not just his
That he wonders if we have enough in common to sustain our relationship...am I political, do I read, do I not act selfishly or wastefully, am I resilient and strong, am I courteous and interested in what he does for a living
Are we soul-mates and will we be together for a long time
Does he truly love me

I hear him say these things to me and it pains me greatly because I know that I love him. He sometimes does not believe me because I cannot articulate why. I just know that I do and it's not out of a fear of being alone or a fear of discomfort. I have been there and this is not that.

I also get frustrated and angry sometimes because I do not see myself as being self-absorbed or narcissistic in the least, though he is CERTAIN that I am. I am always doing things for others before myself and this had gotten me into the abusive relationship pattern that I once was in. I am not vain and I am kind not to reflect back on me, but because I truly enjoy bringing others joy. I love Ishan, but he can be confused and heartless at times. And I wonder how forgiving he is. I have always been applauded for my empathy and to hear him say that I lack this trait upsets me and befuddles me.

So, it is safe to say, that we are going through a rough patch right now. I always was certain that he loved me so intensely, buy I now wonder if he is fickle and takes me for granted. I ask very little from him (but his occasional attention and time), and sometimes he acts as though I am asking the world from him. I wonder too that maybe he is just not meant to be with anyone. Is HE the selfish one?

I love him and I trust that he loves me. I wonder whether outside sources of conflict impair his overall judgment and does he take it out on me because I am not assertive enough or that I am too kind and accommodating and forgiving.

Please help us both to see clearly and have our path together be true in light, peace, love, togetherness, security, commitment, trust and levity. We are also in need of a most joyous weekend and evening together. Please grant us this.

Love,

Ashley and Ishan

Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you Ashley..... I'm sorry you're going through a rough time

These are signs and symptoms of a Narcissistic Personality Disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Do you think he's just lashing out in anger?... .Trying to start a fight?.... You've written that you 'trust' that he loves you.... I think love is a verb..... It's an action word
People behave in a loving way when they love someone.... Another hug .....xo
apache
apache
I know all my prayers don't always come true,......or there is a delayed effect that hasn't kicked in yet! Lol.,.....but life goes on,... I trust in God and do my best to appreciate him for putting me into this really cool life at this really amazing point in time to check it all out while I'm here,...,I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record on this one theme a bit,...... But,.....Hey it works for me!,..... Lol..... Anyway, ...... If u both just mellow out and try not to talk about how u feel too much, and just go some place cool you would both like To go to and see,...... You're already half way there!....... On his part i can say this,.... I know what it feels like to have a beautiful chick consitantly asking me,......What I'm thinking,..... Lol,.... Especially after some great sex,..... Lol,..... Only one thing to say to that,......' I was thinking how great it feels just to lay here and contemplate how great it feels to not say or do anything more at that moment but just enjoy the moment,..... to just contemplate the sweetness of life,..... Huh?....... Lol,..... What made her think I was a thinking about anything different?,.... Huh,?!!?..... Lol,......check out this sites (DailyStrength) daily quotes,..... Bet you will find a cool answer to your thoughts right there!,..... That's the coolest thing on this site I think is a those excellent quotes,........ Peace & love y'all and good luck with it all and life, ,......Spring is just around the world he corner ,.... Coming soon to a large fe near y'all ,..then the rides will be even better or at least have been in the past so far,... For me anyway........lol.. I'm deaf right? Used to be able to hear perfectly though,....and if God ever found it part of his plan to give my hearing back (even in my dreams like it used to be really,...... I would dream music I had once heard and loved,....... But often very low where I could hear it but a little more volume is just out of reach,...eluding me....( but not so loud it hurts or distorts the sound and sweetness of it) would make it better,.....( now after 30 plus years of complete,. Total deafness I don't ,..... For some reason even dream music anymore in my sleep but yet I still ale up with music in my head now and start a lot of morning singing some cool song or another I still remember ( of which lately have been mostly Beatles songs ,....... I could go on and on ,....lol,....anyway,...the first I'd song I'd play now would be Aerosmiths song 'Seasons of Wither',... Off their 'Get your Wings' ,..album,........good song starts out low and builds from there,........ I could go on and on all day on each song and from which bands I would want to hear after that,....... Until then it's ( and here I am sounding like a broken record again,.......lol,..).. But,..... As Oat Willie says ,.....' Onward through the fog',....,,,,,,,,,, and hey,.......and I'm digging that too,.!!!!!!.....lol
apache
apache
What is it with this messaging and that I go back over what I wrote and fix things that went weird only to press send then read it again and Other things went weird?,..... U think that's automatic correct or is somebody on this site really plugging for the psychiatry and psychiatric type drugs industry just messing with me,.....????!!.... Lol,..... Hey no problem,....ain't nothing bothering me a a couple hits of primo on a good bong won't cure,.....lol
apache
apache
Sun cloud Just between u and me and this site,...... You seem like trouble maker,......lol,...... Girl r u pushing for those drugs now???,.....lol
apache
apache
Know another thing that seems funny,.....lol,.......it seems like about most times,...not every time,.... I comment on a site nobody seems to says anything more on it,.....lol,..... It's like,.....'hey,.... Do I know how to clear a room or what?!!!! Hey y'all trying to make me cry or what? ,........ Lol,.... hey, ,....r all y'all selling or owning stock in psychiatric drugs now too ,..., or what?!,......... Lol,.... Just kidding y'all just messing around a little here,......... Hey,...... I can do that! Right,..... At least,.......so far,,........lol☮
apache
apache
Like Richard Pryor said,.......'Is it something I said?,.'...lol
ToTryOrNotToTryThatIsTheQuestion
ToTryOrNotToTryThatIsTheQuestion
God is great, even whe it seems life is handing us scraps i try and look for a pattern and trust he has a plan. He hears you . your prayer is awsome and feels truly from the heart. Sending you positive energy
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