Healthy Relationships Support Group

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people think i'm not normal cause..

Christinaki
Christinaki
Lately, everyone just annoys me with one thing. People ask me if I am dating, I say no.. so they think I'm looking .. I say no I am not looking (because if you know me or have read my posts, due to a recent bad experience I couldn't possible hate men more than I already do - no offense lol) and immediately the question pops "ah so.. you like women?".!! Why do people assume that? And everyone I talk to tells me the same.. and these people don't know each other so.. all have the same thoughts..

No, I am not sexually attracted to women and I have absolutely nothing against gay people.. but I am not gay, I am sure.. and I also am not looking for a guy.. I just want to be alone.. how hard is this for people to understand? Then comes the "you're not normal people at your age want to date and have sex" ... well I don't, not right now..

I don't know what to reply anymore! People can't just accept I'm a girl who is not a lesbian but isn't desperately looking for a guy and actually wants distance from then .. how do I deal with this?

I was chatting with a guy the other day and he after asking me if I liked women lol asked me if I wasn't desperately needing sex.. truth is I AM NOT! I don't miss it one bit, no desires, nothing!! And I told him this.. and he told me to seek a doctor that I am not normal..

Any advice? Anyone ever got through the same situation?

I am too hurt, too confused, too messed up.. there is so much more to life than guys, and right now it's the last thing I want, to have anything with just one.. how do I deal with this and explain people I am fine alone and I don't want a partner.. of any sex!!

I don't get annoyed that people think i like women, i get annoyed cause people think i cannot survive without a guy or sex!!!!
MTZ3
MTZ3
I could be wrong, but I suspect the younger generation is overly obsessed with sex. If you're not interested in guys, well, of course you must be into women. In my generation, the not being into sex, never lead into the next question, well, you must be into women. I think a lot of that has to do with porn, and there is a lot of it out there. It didn't exist in my 20's, except in magazines. Now, pretty much anything goes, and it is everywhere on the internet, and much more extreme. With lots of threesomes, lesbian play. Not my style.

In my 20s, I wasn't interested in sex either. Not at all, just wasn't my libido at the time (guys sucked at sex, wham bam thank you ma am, and doing it with a woman never entered the equation). I could go for a very long time without doing it (years). Even if I liked the guy. Today, my libido is a lot more different, but I still would never do it with someone I didn't care about.
Pandylove
Pandylove
Props to you for taking time off for yourself! I think its very heathy to feel the way you feel, and i personally get annoyed with people who always "NEED" to have someone or to be looking.

Don't let what people say bother you, just let it roll of your shoulder. Enjoy your time until you feel your ready again, theres no harm in that :)
Aronia
Aronia
Idk... Sometimes when a whole lot of people say the same thing they may be picking up on some energy you project that you are not even aware of. Or they are just stupid.
Hope things get better for you. You are doing the right thing by taking time to heal and if you have a child, is is even more important, because they feel us.
koolman
koolman
What is "normal" anyway? And who cares! Go ahead and be "abnormal", if "abnormal" is healthy...for you.

And, if you're absolutely not interested in dating, don't respond to guys on a dating site (!).
Christinaki
Christinaki
Just to clear some things up, I am not registered in dating sites! But I do join random chats on the internet sometimes, for fun only or when I am bored and have no one to talk to.. this is how I talk to guys (and girls too), but without any interest, men just seem to always bring sex into convos lol

I am truly sure I need time for myself and I don't want to date. Thanks everyone for your replies, I truly feel a lot better now :)
Dave17
Dave17
"being alone"

We are social creatures. Many studies have been done on sensory deprivation, they show that people will likely go insane without contact.

being without a lover. Depending on your sex drive, how much affection you desire...etc... this can be easy for some and hard for others.

If you are comfortable being without a lover, then do it. But I wonder, if you are so ready to be "alone", why post several other threads about finding a decent guy. Are you trying to convince yourself?
Kerri75
Kerri75
I completely understand. I think it's COMPLETELY NORMAL to not want a relationship, a man or sex after bad experiences. Think about it. Any guy you dated right now wouldn't stand a chance because ur not ready. I work with a woman who is in her 50s. She's not married, no kids and not in a relationship. Is she the norm? No, but she's happy with herself. I think as a society we think if we aren't in a relationship, we cant be complete. My Mom
(who was happily married for 41 years before she passed away 3 years ago) always taught me that I would never be happy with any one else (man, woman, iguana, whatever lol) unless I was happy just being with myself. It seems like the guy who asked might be into you.
lovingmyselfirst
lovingmyselfirst
I understand
Same thing happens to me
It's smart not to jump to a new relationship before healing