Most people have had previous sexual partners and IMO there's no reason to bring up past sexual experiences.

You've talked to her about it, she said she won't do it again but she continues to bring it up. That's very disrespectful to you and even more disrespectful that she would bring it up while the two of you are having sex.

I would have one more serious talk with her, let her know talking about her past partners is unacceptable to you and that you'll no longer tolerate it. If she continues, ask yourself if you can continue on in a relationship with someone who does not respect your feelings.

I am not too sure which is more frustrating hearing her say these things to you on a constant basis or the fact that you have had numerous conversations about it and she keeps saying she will not bring it up again but yet still continues to do so.

Only you can decide if you want to end the relationship or not but I would not end it because of spite as that usually results in not having total closure of terminating the relationship. End it because you are not happy and can truly see she is not giving a 100 percent in this relationship and not willing to compromise or keep the promises she made to you

To me these are important factors in a relationship because it develops trust with each other and it sounds like her words are not so trustworthy are they? Anyway weigh your pros and cons here and then decide what will make you happy in the long run. I hope this helps a bit and I wish you the very best:)

I would let her know that they next time she invites (through her comments) a third party into your bedroom and your relationship, you will leave and she can have the third party all to herself.

I agree with the other posts as well as feel your outrage is more than fitting for such disrepsectful actions on her part. I did want to add that an ultimatium might be necessary. Have the conversation when it's more neutral --Don't wait until she does it again and the hurt is raw.... let her know that you're thinking of continuing your life with her and moving it to the next step, however you will only be okay with that under one condition... you are tiered of giving her chances to show you respct and honoring your wishes of her not brining up past lovers. Also perhaps mention how it's affecting you and offer an example of how she would feel if you did ____ blank ____. Putting somthing in perspective by forcing them to think of how they'd feel in your shoes (not necessarly by the same action, but by one that she'd find equally as unpleasent). That usually works with me and my husband...I ensure I'm driving all the points home and am prepared for the conversation. Then let her know you're not going to forgive her if she does it again.

You deserve for her to repect you and if not then like you said it's not going to go away when you get married, it will only show her that you're willing to overlook it.

Good luck ... wishing you nothing but the very best

Hi there

I've had similar with my partner. I've never spoken about ex's with boyfriends as I thought it was rude but my partner brings them into the conversation pretty regularly - tho never while we're having sex! I think I'd find that quite offputting!

I found it difficult to cope with, but finally after he'd name dropped four different ex's on one shopping trip I decided to start doing the same.....not the most mature response I'll admit, but after I started by pointing out a house where one ex lived, then gradually worked my way through trivia about another couple I finished by hitting him with the fact that I went out with another while I was dressed just in a basque and stockings under my coat to surprise him (something my partner's far too conservative to do)

That shut him up lol! He got the point and cut right down on doing it, sometimes he slips a bit and I smile and say "Oh I do love talking about our ex's" and I swiftly hit him with "when I was with **** WE did ******" - the WE is the killer!

So if everything else is good with her just give her a dose of her own medicine! You've tried asking her nicely and she's manipulating you now. Remember the slightest hint that another woman was slimmer, curvier, or in any way better at anything will shut her up fast

Good luck

I agree with what everyone else has said.

Talk to her once, say its unacceptable. If she does it again, look her square in the eye and tell her that her XYZ skills could be better, that your ex so and so knew exactly how you liked it, and that you'll teach her how to do it right. I guarantee this will piss her off. But, when people disrespect me, I fight fire with fire when it gets to the point where I know they're not going to change. Lol.

I just wanted to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who responded your words and stories have brought me great comfort and are helping me work through this.

-K

I dated a guy like this and found that habit quite annoying. Even after I pointed out that I didn't like it, he still did it.

Needless to say, we no longer see each other.

I think what troubles me more is the fact that she continues to do it, knowing it bothers you. One thing I would suggest is to stop her immediately when she does it and say, "Why are your bringing him up right now? Perhaps knowing where her thought process is could help diffuse the situation.

If it doesn't, then I agree with the others, you have to decide if this is a dealmaker or dealbreaker for you.

Dear forever, I am so sorry that your gf treats you this way. This is not normal behaviour. What she is doing to you is emotional abuse. unfortunately people who behave like this never change. At least that has been my experience. I just see too many red flags and if I were in your shoes, I would break up with her before she sinks her claws in too deep. My advice to you is this: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...
I am sorry if my reply offends you. But you dont deserve to be treated with such disrespect.

Regards, dittsy

Continually bringing up the topic of ex sexual partners is disrespectful and inappropriate.. I would have a serious talk with her about it and tell her that you find it unacceptable. If she continues after that, I would reconsider the wisdom of being in a relationship with someone who has such little regard for your feelings.

I dont think you should think about marrying her at all until this can be resolved, but yet at the same time. I would break up with someone who brought up past lovers. If she said she is going to stop and clearly doesn't, you need to ask yourself "How many chances does she need to get?" Maybe you need to tell her one more time, and be serious and lay your foot down. She is not taking your seriously.

Wow this sounds all to familiar. Been down this road before. My ex talked about her ex husband all the time. Kinda like he was the measuring stick. I told her that he is an ex for a reason. I certainly know how you feel. I to was quite upset at the time. I would tell her it is very insulting & see where it goes from there.

Jason

I can't stress this enough. Any issues you leave unresolved will magnify TEN FOLD in a marriage. Never discount issues that bother you today. If you have history that suggests your partner remains hung up on past loves, then you need to find answers that not only to satisfy those questions, but any others you might have. If you put it to the side as if the pageantry of marriage will dissolve it, you will be woefully shocked to find out how wrong that assumption was.
The first thing marriage shows you is how honest you were with yourself about what did and did not work while you dated. If you addressed those issues in the dating phase, you'll be very glad you did because you'll find new areas to adjust to in a married life. If you didn't address those needs, then they will reside by your side 24/7 and then you'll be kicking yourself for not doing the work before you tied the knot. Don't place too much emphasis on the "three years" as if this is a perfect race you must to see to the altar. Time served is only relevant if you've been growing together and fixing issues as they arise. If you've been looking the other way for three years, all those issues will come home to roost a week after your married. And then you'll be asking yourself, "What the h*ll did I get myself into?"

So take your time. Get answers to EVERY question you have. Because marriage is not the answer to your problems. It's only the beginning of your problems, if you don't handle them now. Be honest with yourself and make sure this is the right move for you. And make sure she can handle the responsibilities that come with being married,. If her attention is easily distracted, marriage will make her embrace it more. Perhaps pre-marrital counseling would benefit you both? What you do now will determine what foundation you build upon in your married life. Be wise and build a strong one before you jump in. It's harder to build a foundation when your already standing on it.