You know, I have always been afraid to use those sites...not really sure why. Maybe because I didn't have a clue who my ideal type would be, so how could anyone else tell me.

Then I met someone on DS that had such common ground with me that there was an instant connection. And even though we are miles apart, I feel like we are together. It was easy because we could get to know each other without the pressure of knowing it was a set up.

My first husband met a woman online after our divorce, and they ended up married.

Sunny: Any chance of you and this other DS person getting "miles closer"? And is your online relationship purely platonic, or do you set up webcams and such for some sexual escapades? And how is your ex-hubby's current marriage going, if you don't mind my asking?

I've been on true.com, and the situation (in South Florida anyway) is that the girls that I find PHYSICALLY attractive (typically much younger than myself) are looking for the so-called sugar-daddy to pay their bills and fulfill their expensive dreams. I've made FRIENDS with other ladies (my age or older) but I have absolutely no interest in getting intimate with them. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for (warmth plus lust) and just haven't found it yet, online or in person.

Kool: Yes, we are planning to be together in March...now that we have gotten to know each other. I think if he/I had been closer geographically, I would have been more hesitant to get closer (intimidated).

Web cams are for more than just sex. We can just be. We can live and share...together, even though we are not physically together. I can see him in his environment and he can see me in mine. Its very intimate.

My ex-husband and his new wife are having troubles, sadly, but they have been together for 8 years. They are having troubles because they aren't happy with themselves...nothing to do with how they met.

I do agree that some women are looking for a man to take care of them, but not all of them. Its good to know what you want in a woman. Can I ask, how do you know they are looking for a sugar daddy?

That's wonderful that you are your mate are getting together. True, webcams are for more than just sex, and it's great that you can see each other in your natural habitats and can have intimate conversations. I'd like to do the same.

I can relate to the fact that online is a safer, less-threatening way to meet people, especially for women looking to meet a man and not wanting to seem like loose sluts, a la the bar scene.

Sorry to hear that your ex and his wife of 8 years are having troubles, but am relieved that it's because of another reason than how they met.

How do I know that these gals are looking for a sugar-daddy? Because they say so right on their profiles! Words like "comfort", "security" and "the finer things" pop up all the time. Needless to say, I don't contact any of these women, but it gets a bit disheartening...

Or I see religious zealots who attend church at least 3 times a week. I'm all for a little Jesus (or whatever one's religious affiliation happens to be--mine's spiritual without belonging to any organized religion--I suppose Buddhism is more my laid-back style than Christianity). I suppose I'm a religious moderate...

Look, there's nothing wrong with material comfort; I too enjoy "the finer things" in life. I suppose I should get past these words and try to get to know these ladies a bit better, to see what their careers and financial situations are, which doesn't happen until months in...

I've also attracted a lot of foreign girls, particularly from Russia, where the standard of living is God-awful, who are party girls and raging alconholics, and who are looking for ANY WAY to get out of their own shitty country!

Whenever they want me to contact them directly through personal e-mail instead of through the "safe" dating site, and whenever they lay on enormously flowery romantic language like "my love" or "my dear" when we've just met, I run the other direction...

Coupled with the fact that, no offense, sunny, I'm attracted to slender gals (I'm a slender guy), which so few women are, especially after having a kid! I'm really, really trying to be physically attracted to heavier gals...to find the heart amidst the layers of cellulite and love that beautiful heart...

Sounds to me (no offense Kool) that you are only attracted to the outside of a woman. I fear that you will never find your "perfect woman"...there is no such thing. Maybe you should consider looking for the beauty on the inside, and forgetting what the outside is all about.

When two people are connected, really connected emotionally, it doesn't matter what the outside looks like. You will find the other person irresistible because of that connection.

I am also curious...do you run a credit check on the women you date too? lol "Security" and "comfort" (IMO) are not about money, but about being secure with love and comfortable to share with the other person.

Sounds like the one with the money hang up is you. Isn't there more to you than your money?

Of course there is more to me, dear. I'm a volcano of passion who feels strongly about a lot of things. And I'm delighted to get to know a woman on the inside and feel that deep emotional connection. Guess I haven't found the right social venue to do so...although DS is certainly one such interesting venue. Thanks for your insights! You sound like a wonderful woman.

I'd like to add that there is so much bullshit in dating, the same trite, meaningless conversations "blah blah blah"...I don't think this problem is just me.

A LOT OF PEOPLE look from the outside in, and, in order to survive amongst them, I feel obligated to be one of them.

Perhaps e-mail, your venue of choice, is the way to go. When one call fall in love with the eloquence of another's choice of words before one ever meets them...

hey there koolman, i met my loving husband on match.com. maybe we were just very lucky to be in the right place at the right time. i only joined(for the four week trial) cause my girlfriend wanted a partner on the site with her. by the way i was 6 months pregnant with her daughter, i was her surrogate cuase she could not carry. i believe my husband and i connected because we were looking at each other as people and how we would fit into each others lives. yes it is true we did fit each others physical type but the communication and being ourselves from the beginnig had a lot more to do with it. by the way we are from so florida LOL good luck finding a real relationship.

Koolman, I read your posts often and what comes across in most of them is that you are trying to hard to find your ideal woman, or any woman for that matter.

Sit back, relax, trying too hard gets you nowhere.

I met my husband on match.com. In fact, tomorrow will be 3 years since we met. We got married about 6 months later & are so happy. It was truly love at first site. Funny thing is I was having a day where I just decided I didn't want to look anymore so I deleted all of the email addresses from anyone who had contacted me from match.com & then I came to his name...sent him my new email address if he ever wanted to talk. He had never even seen my pictures...he sent me a quick instant message to say hi & we had our first date a few days later. Come to find out I work with his mom. Small world, huh?

Yes, Married for almost 1 year! It was an extensive search, but it worked!!!! (match.com)