He makes you hole? or whole? either way - that is a huge red flag in your post.......your anxiety sounds like desperation - and that alone will be what pushes him away.......imagine it from his side.......two misbehaving, high needs kids and a desperate anxious woman in his face 24 hours a day..........ick.

Yes - let go of the pressure you're creating around moving in with him and making him commit to you. That's all in your head and it will ruin what sounds like, a surprisingly good thing with a very patient man.

Yes go back on your Zoloft.

How long have you two been together?

There is no hurry.....Just enjoy the relationship.

Thanks onetoomany. September will be 2 years for us. I was hoping to stay off meds. But I also don't want to be this way. I deserve to be happy and I don't want to loose that. I think I may push him away if I mention his feelings for me or moving in together. I just wish it didn't take so long for Zoloft to work.

Zoloft - and other anti-depressants - can create sexual problems. One that doesn't is Wellbutrin.

Absolutely don't put pressure on him by suggesting moving in!!!

Sounds like a great guy. Don't lean on him too hard.

Thanks livingwater, I tried welbutrin but I had a bad reaction to it. The way I feel about this guy I don't think the sexual problems will be an issue.

I take meds for anxiety/OCD. I have taken them for years.
They really do help me. So I truly think the meds are going to help you better deal with all these anxious feelings and worries.

It sounds like this man is sticking with you. I would not rock the boat too much.
Perhaps he is waiting for the kids to get older?

Even two years may not be enough to let things become a natural thought. Heck, he may be waiting for your kids to get a little older. I agree with Coping.

I would not go on meds if you don't have to, they're not always the answer, and pharmaceuticals have side effects, which require further medicating.

If you were to take his perspective, you may not want to rush forward either. If he had two kids, and needed you to make him feel whole, you may also feel like he's acting desperate, and wouldn't want to move in with him.

For him, it's not just a relationship he's moving into, it's an instant family, and it's a lot to consider. Let him come to wanting to move in with you, but I wouldn't place pressure on him to do so.

You need to come to a place where you will be happy on your own, and having him, living on his own, will just be icing on the cake, and not the ingredient that holds it all together. Getting to this place will relieve your anxiety.

I don't believe the antidepressants will be able to do that for you, alter your perception, it will dullen your senses enough to be able to accept it, but it won't alter your mindset. Only you can do this through introspective thought, and this is what needs to take place.

I understand your situation though, you want to secure this relationship and move forward and create wonderful memories together, the four of you. This is what we all want, to be able to relax and feel secure about our future and the relationship we're in. And it will come, but you may have to wait longer for it, and if he's worthwhile, it makes it so much easier, as long as you're okay with it.

I wish you all well.

have to agree with reply #1 ! and the others. like the otm, who said perhaps hes waiting for the kids to get a little older.
i agree w the red flag, needing someone else to make you whole. do you want to be with half a person? or a whole person?