Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I just had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do with my life. My boyfriend broke up with me tonight and I had to say goodbye to the one that I love. He said he loves me but he wants to focus on himself.
I'm feeling really hurt and I'm completely shattered. I feel so alone
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I don't understand how it was the hardest thing you've ever had to do, when he was the one who broke up with you. Perhaps you could explain this.
Him saying he loves you but wants to focus on himself, is a crock of shit. This vapid line is used to let someone down easy, instead of telling them the truth, involving countless hours of discussion and explanation. So when someone wants out, quickly, they'll say this as a way out thinking it will hurt you less, and gets them off the hook with the least amount of guilt.
Don't read anymore into it; this guy is not who you have fashioned him to be in your mind. If you do, you're only damaging your self-esteem. I think you are the one who needs to focus on yourself, and perhaps consider seeing a therapist to help you discover why you've found yourself in the place you are in now. Once you're able to do this, it opens up a whole new freedom involving relationships.
I wish you well.
Anyway. It is time to concentrate on YOU right now. Google the 7 stages of grief after a breakup and identify what you are feeling and understand it is natural. Still hurts like hell though and I know it is hard.
If you get a chance go through my posts and see if you can find some peace in some of the advice I have given others. It might help.
Big Hug
And he hasn't been very available or very kind.... You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect... We show other people how to treat us.
Concentrating on yourself for a while may be a gift to you and if you need some therapy to work on self esteem it may really help you in the future.... Big hug....xo
Once the pain of the immediate situation subsides a bit I would use the opportunity to focus on yourself and things that you've been wanting to do. It's a great time to do some introspective work and really just learn ways to enjoy your own company or that of family and friends. There is indeed a world outside of significant others. I hope you find it and enjoy:)