matt, my boyfriend, is home from basic training and i should be happy. and i was when he got home 2 weeks ago. im happy being with him but lately i have been feeling hopeless about our relationship. idk why. how can i love someone and be so happy but at the same time be so hopeless?? i dont get it. im thinking its b/c hes going to college soon and im still in highschool. i guess im just scared. but one thing that i worry about is me. i dont worry about him cheating on me or finding another girl and breaking up with me. i worry that i will get swept off my feet by some other guy or something. is that wierd to worry about myself? i feel bad for being like this now that he is home. i thought i was done being sad. i just talked to matt about his last nite. and now this morning i work up at 6 and cried till 7. now im up and me and matt are talking on msn about all this stuff. *sighs* why do i get this way? is it normal to feel this way? im so confused and i hate being like this. why do i do this??? i think the worst possible things and put myself in the worst scenerios. how can i change myself? or my way of thinking? why cant i just be happy? ive got great family friends and a great boyfriend. why am i sad and upset? maybe its just one of those days idk. please someone give me some advice here.
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