Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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gabriel2012 09/11/2013

Mystery solved. The woman who stopped communicating with me after she had agreed to go out with me has now changed her picture with one with a man she is hugging and looks very happy. It says something like with my sweetie. I guess when she wrote on fb that she was tired to go out on dates with her son he made his move. I am so very sad. She looks beautiful. I let a great woman go. I don't even feel like going on dates any more. But I need to think differently. Maybe I am idealizing her now. This is the woman I stopped communicating with for six months. I was afraid she had found someone else during that time but when I contacted her she was with no one and agreed to go on a date with me. It looks like she liked this man already. Oh well. I am so sad I let a great woman go. I feel so unmotivated to go out on dates and find someone else. She was the one I wanted. I have been on online dating for over a year and she has been the only one I have liked. Its going to take a long time to find someone like her. Or maybe I should not find someone like her, but someone different, and better. I am so sad. I did not appreciate her when I had her. I was starting to date after more than 15 years of no dating because I was in another relationship. I was clueless. Later I realiezed how special she was. But I waited too long. I was sick for three months and could not go out on a date. I guess that part is not my fault. But I messed up and that maked me feel very bad.

roseBud23 09/11/2013

All experiences good and bad are an opportunity for growth. The pain you feel in having missed out will teach you something about yourself. Although at the moment it just feels like one of those regrettable moments, you can look back on it and feel privileged to have been able to go through this and understand / learn from it. Sometimes people come into our lives to give us an opportunity for growth. You feeling happy for her is something that will build your character.

Good luck :) and God bless

gabriel2012 09/11/2013

Thank you. I just feel really sad because I have been alone for a long time. I have been looking and I realize what a special woman she was. If only she had not been my first date. If she had appeared later in my life I would have appreciated her. Now I feel its going to take a long time to find someone. I have found no one in a year and a half. I dont know if that is a long time or not. I dont know if its going to take a year or two or three or more. I am tired of being alone. Maybe I should go out and enjoy the fact that I am single. But I dont feel like it. I would like to be in a relationship. She looks so happy in that picture with that man. I could have been him.

deleted_user 09/11/2013

Maybe you could have been in that picture, maybe not. If you dated her more, you might have found out that she's not someone you want a relationship with. Go out and meet women, date women but don't settle for any woman just because you want to be in a relationship. If you find someone you want a relationship with, make sure you're going into the relationship for the right reasons and not just because you're alone and want a relationship.

koolman 09/12/2013

ENJOY being alone, and then you'll ENJOY being with another. Work on you first.

onetoomany 09/12/2013

I totally agree with all the advice already given.

Don't beat yourself up!
Perhaps these things unfolded as they were meant to and the universe has a WAY better person for you!

gabriel2012 09/12/2013

Thanks for all the good advice. I can accept that things dont work out sometimes. But I feel things just didnt happen, I messed up. It was my first date in a long time and I started with very high standards and did not appreciate her until later when I started looking more and realized what a special person she was. She is different from the other women I have met She is doing something interesting with her llfe. She makes amazing art. She also has values very similar to mine. Oh well, I had her and I was stupid and let her go. Its my own stupidity that is making me feel bad. And the fact that it will take a long time to find someone like her. The universe gave me a great opportunity and I messed it up.

gabriel2012 09/12/2013

She had her job but she also had her art. She was passionate about her art. The other women I have met on line just have their job and nothing else. They now look boringo to me compared to that woman. I am afraid it will take a long long time to meet someone like that again. Most women (and men) dont do much except work. On the other hand I have had gf who only worked and took care of kids and I had a good time. so maybe I should not get obsessed with getting a woman who does something interesting with her life. She was like me. I have my passion outside my work. I could not just have a job.

MTZ3 09/13/2013

I am sorry gabriel, I know that must have been hard to see... but kind of relieved you finally got some closure (so you no longer feel the need to wait, and wonder, if you should reach out to her again, is she going to reach out to you, etc...). but again I am sorry...

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