Healthy Relationships Support Group
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I can't get through to him. Some days he is in love with me, other days he's absent. When I ask why he says he's busy with work, and that his schedule has changed and it's giving me the impression he doesn't care while he still does. I am taking a xanax every night to kill the pain and to sleep-- I have to numb myself or I have a constant knot in my stomach, and am perpetually worried and sick that he has faded from us- even though I know he has. We used to be perfect, have so much fun together, some days we still do. Yesterday I didn't hear from him once except for one random snapchat of him without a shirt on saying "your turn"... I didn't hear from him ALL DAY LONG. Finally I texted him at 8 and said hey how was your day and he said good, and i said can you give me a call and he said i'm out i'll call you when i'm back home at 11. 11:30 rolls around and nothing. I sent him a text saying I can't constantly make the effort- I'm sick of it. The relationship is dead for me. He responded that I expect more out of it than he's willing to give, and that I need to understand that he still cares for me but he can't give me that level of commitment. I said I'm not asking for more- I'm asking for the bare minimum- for you to contact once a day and say hello instead of sending me a naked picture asking for one in return. For you to make ANY effort to say hi. We've been dating 9 months and he doesn't feel the need to say hello once a day... in fact that's too much of a commitment. Is it me or is this too much? Hell I took him out to dinner to celebrate his new job the other night, and I do his laundry every week. I just need to know if I am in the wrong and asking for too much.
I wish you the best of luck.
Not everyone wants to communicate everyday, I am one of them. But if daily communication is important to you, then find someone who will give that to you. Trust me, there are plenty of guys who will (I've had guys pick fights over this).
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to communicate on a daily basis. I'm not a talkative person, I hate texting, I prefer to meet face to face, or a phone call. I'm ok only communicating 2-3 times a week (however I would not want to go more than a week).
This guy is not going to give you what you need, sure maybe he did in the past, but that was early in the relationship (it is normal for things to wax and wane after a while).
I also read a couple of your past posts,and this guy has a history of cheating on past girlfriends. Huge red flag. I could not date someone like that, I'd probably need a xanax too lol. It also sounds like it's not so much this guy doesn't like to text (or snapchat), it's that he like to blow hot (when he feels you pull away),and cold (when he perceives you're too needy-not that you are!!). It's a control thing.
I rarely advise this in my posts, but think you should cut him loose. Find someone else, who will give you what you need.
He said he cannot give you the level of committment you expect. He gave you an honest answer of how he feels.
Believe him.
(Is anyone else laughing at this guy sending a "topless" pic of himself then expecting the same from her? Gee, I'll send you something you can walk by a construction site and see but you have to send me something private! What an idiot.... Hate it when guys do the manipulative pic thing!)
Actually, I really did laugh when I read that. I thought, "Oh hell no, this guy didn't talk to her all day, but he wants a titty shot?"
What's up with Snapchat? It's total sexting 2.0...people who cheat must think it's a gold mine!!!
He has been clear about what he wants, and so have you. Theyre just two different things. Hes not wrong, youre not wrong - you just. want. different. things.
Go find ways to make yourself happy without needing a boys influence - you have the ability to take control of your own happiness!
Once youve done that, you will have an easier time finding a better match :)
You are treating him really well and he is not reciprocating!
Damn girl! You do his laundry? Hell no!
You deserve better!
(((hugs)))
http://radionowindy.com/977806/rachels-advice-for-the-ladies-signs-hes-just-not-that-into-you/
The last guy I dated would never allow me to come to his side of town and we dated for 2 months......He always came to me and I never met anyone in his life.....it was really weird!