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My...boyfriend (ex boyfriend?) and I had a sort of fight on October 3rd. I said something I should not have and in a span of 2 hours (while I wasn't home) he packed up his most prized possessions, took his cat, and left without a word. He refused to talk to me. Wouldn't answer my calls or texts. About a week later (I believe the 11th) I saw him online and asked him to call me and to my surprise, he did. We said we were both very sorry and that we loved each other and wanted to work it out. We made plans to see each other that Sunday (October 14th). I drove 2 1/2 hours away (and had a flat tire in between which cost me another hour) to see him. When I got there, he seemed different. Not taking care of himself. Smoking a cigar (never smoked while with me), with an attitude of "screw you." I do not know this side of him. Either way, he held me and kissed me in the driveway of his friends house (whom I believe hates me) for about 10-20 minutes. Eventually we decided to leave and he took me to a nearly deserted dirt road/path. We had some incredible sex regardless of the fact that it was in the backseat of my small car. Luckily nobody passed by. After a while we got dressed and talked. He said that he wanted to be with me, but part of him wants to be free to do whatever the hell he wants. We didn't talk about anything like that for too long. He seemed too preoccupied with trying to get in my pants again. In that time span though 3-4 cars had passed by so I wasn't going with it. He begged me to stay. I said I would. He was content for about 5 mins and then seemed to change his mind and said I should go so "others don't worry." I only stayed for 2 1/2 hours and then I had to drive home. When I dropped him back off at his friends house, his demeanor seemed to change yet again. He was grinning. I asked "what's wrong?" He said "I'm going to miss you." He didn't look very upset though. He gave me a peck and promised me that he would give me a call that night. That night I waited for a while, when I didn't hear from him, I went online and there he was. Asked if he was going to call, he said he wasn't able to. I said i was going to go to bed, he said he loved me and I went to bed. I decided to try to stay offline and on Tuesday he e-mailed me "Katie, I love you." Then I didn't hear from him again until I saw him online again. Asked him what he's up to, says he's tired from working. He never worked a day when he lived with me. Said I was going out, he said he loved me and then I signed off. Decided to stay off FB for a while (that's the only way we can sort of talk right now) and he called me 2 nights ago at like 11 (which is odd for him to do) and he is like "why are you going to be off line?" I said "I'm just trying to keep busy." Said I was confused about us, he says "don't be." and promises me he will get a phone card so he can talk to me. Didn't hear from him. I'M SO CONFUSED!! I don't know what to do. I just want to know what's going on. Should I be moving on, or should I keep my feelings? I hate feeling like this.
This is a journal entry I wrote yesterday I believe...he still hasn't contacted me.
This is a journal entry I wrote yesterday I believe...he still hasn't contacted me.
First off to me when two people have a fight I certainly can understand being angry and needing a bit of time to calm down and collect thoughts before trying to solve any issues. However this does not mean packing up and leaving without at least explaining why. Unless of course it was something like an abusive relationship or someone cheated on their partner.
In your situation I am not sure what was said between the two of you or why he left but it sure does not sound like he wants to work things out otherwise he would not be behaving in this manner. You took the time to meet with him and discuss the issues he didn't give you any answers only more confusion as well as some hurt feelings.
I don't know if he has any drug or mental problems and of course these are things you can try and find out if you want to. If it were me I would end the relationship as I do not like games, disrespect or people who bounce around like a yo yo. I am a person who is willing to give my partner a chance to explain their feelings and come clean with me but I will not tolerate being told I love you one day and then treated badly the next day. It just does not work for me.
Anyway you have to find out what works best for you and your future. Know what you want, set up your boundaries and take it from there. Weigh those pros and cons carefully if you are unhappy more then being happy in this relationship it is time to step back and focus on what will make you happy in the long run. Wishing you the very best.
I think it's so hard because I am so in love with him. If someone else was in this position, I would probably tell them to run. Being in it though it's so much more complicated. :(
I have to admit that at this point, I am pretty certain he is not coming back. I still have not heard from him. I am taking steps to be okay with this, but he is still constantly on my mind. I dreamed of him last night to top it all off. I find myself waking up at 4 a.m. and not being able to get back to sleep because I am wondering what it is that changed his mind. I think it may be another woman. Which is another hard pill to swallow. I think he's doing what he did originally. Just taking off and not letting me know what's up. I wish things would have gone differently.