Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hi I’m 19 and I’ve been in a relationship for almost a year and I strongly believe he is my soulmate that I want to spend the rest of my life with. For a little background information on my relationship to get a better understanding... we are both 19 years young and we both are diagnosed with bipolar depression. Also I am his first everything he has never been in a relationship before I am the first so I find that might be a potential issue to our relationship considering the lack of experience he has which I do not have a problem with at all I love the fact I am his first everything he is more than just my partner he is my bestfriend and support system and I am honored to be the first to experience all these precious moments with him. My boyfriend or significant other as I would like to call him was my best friend before we started a relationship. We both have our own struggles with our home life and past and we love each other more than words can describe.. I know im young and it sounds crazy but I do believe he is my forever and he feels the same. Lately we’ve been struggling with communication due to our anger problems when one of us encounters an issue with the other we try to resolve it the mature way but lately we’ve just been not seeing eye to eye due to our own issues. It has nothing to do with us not loving each other anymore or not wanting to be with each other anymore, our issue is learning how to move past our issues without holding grudges and to work on ourselves individually but helping each other at the same time. The balance between trying to help ourselves and each other has been slowly deteriorating and we just want to work it out instead of giving up hope on our relationship, it is just hard to find ways to help each other better understand what we are going through and why we do certain things. I’m not really sure if anyone understands what I’m getting at or if anyone has the same issue or has advice to help the other understand the other person better without letting the anger get in the way. Any advice is welcomed I am all ears and am willing to try anything to make this work. Thank you for listening
Try to remind each other daily that you are a team, that you are partners, not enemies.
Make it a rule to recognize angry or agitated moods and NOT get into conversations until you are both calm.
Notify each other about taking a time out. For example , if he is agitate, ask him to tell you : “ I need space”.
Let him take some time alone and calm down, then you can discuss whatever it is that needs to be addressed.
When arguments come at random, your happy place / space is no longer safe and it becomes chronically tense.
You want to keep that peace always.
Good luck