Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
They seem to be a stronger motivation for me than love, because I find love simply miserable, and past experience has showed me that I can't rely on others, so I have to rely on myself and my own hard work, to survive. However, true power comes from God, and God is love. I do believe in God, and try to tap into his love and good grace. Sometimes my temper flares up, because it seems no mater how hard I work, something or someone is trying to keep me financially poor. It's almost like God is telling me that the love of money leads straight to the Devil. I don't need to rule the world! I just need to feel powerful in my little niche, my little domain, to feel like I have a future, besides death, which is guaranteed, to have a little freedom, to travel, to enjoy all this life has to offer before I croak and arrive at the next!
it also seems I am missing out on the "finer things in life", i.e. love in the form of a beautiful woman, and I do need help, to achieve my financial goals, because we can't do it all in a vacuum.
So I'm trying to cultivate good relationships with others, those I have to interact with, some of whom I actually enjoy interacting with, even though part of me wants to stand out from the crowd and shine in my own beacon. I suppose I'm trying to find a good career, where I can really kick ass, make a lot of money, and feel like I'm making a positive contribution to this world. What this career is remains to be seen. I enjoy cinematography and video production, being part of a well-honed team, and am peace-mealing together a meager income from it. I enjoy writing and am peace-mealing together a meager income from it.
So if there is a question here for you ladies, and fellas, it is this: How do you balance the want of power with the want of love? How do you balance both on a priority scale? 50/50?
We all need love, but it just seems such a miserable pursuit at times because, when love is unrequited, given and not received, one simply gets drained being the one to give love all the time, so one has no choice but to turn inward and rely on some inner resolve!
it also seems I am missing out on the "finer things in life", i.e. love in the form of a beautiful woman, and I do need help, to achieve my financial goals, because we can't do it all in a vacuum.
So I'm trying to cultivate good relationships with others, those I have to interact with, some of whom I actually enjoy interacting with, even though part of me wants to stand out from the crowd and shine in my own beacon. I suppose I'm trying to find a good career, where I can really kick ass, make a lot of money, and feel like I'm making a positive contribution to this world. What this career is remains to be seen. I enjoy cinematography and video production, being part of a well-honed team, and am peace-mealing together a meager income from it. I enjoy writing and am peace-mealing together a meager income from it.
So if there is a question here for you ladies, and fellas, it is this: How do you balance the want of power with the want of love? How do you balance both on a priority scale? 50/50?
We all need love, but it just seems such a miserable pursuit at times because, when love is unrequited, given and not received, one simply gets drained being the one to give love all the time, so one has no choice but to turn inward and rely on some inner resolve!
Money is not everything, BUT trying to raise a family on a shoe string budged can kill love and romance in a relationship.
When i am financially stable i have very little doubt that i can find a relationshop, because money allows me to go out and do things, i can buy clothes and shoes and toys ( not sex toys, but sewing machines and new cooking pots ) that make me feel good and if i am happy, it makes me so much more attractive.
Love also inspires me to do better financially - when i am happpy because i am loved, i do much better performing at work and going after risky jobs thay can make me money.
Can i live without money and love ? Absolutely, but if i can have both why not?
When money is there, TIME is short. When time is there, MONEY is short. It thus becomes a balancing act of how important time or money is at any given moment.
Thanks again.
I have a house, i drive a comfortable SUV, i like good shoes and i buy whatever i want for food.That's pretty much all i need.
I hate gold and other kind of shiny jewelry so my bf buys me toys instead of earings and bracelets.
Money - Only as much as I need to attend to a very average lifestyle.
Love - Wherever and whenever it presents itself, romantic and otherwise.
The signal to noise ratio of the mind is the foundation that sets the stage for everything else.
As far as extravagant wealth, just look at the wealthy, famous and powerful. They aren't immune to the unhappiness and despair that creeps into the lives of those less fortunate. In some respects they might be worse off because they have it all and yet are still not satisfied. How horrible must that be?
When I'm not annoyed by external aggravations that I need (or perhaps don't need?) to endure to generate a buck, I actually feel pretty powerful! Truth be told, I only want to do things, in a job, that I CARE about, with PEOPLE that I care about. The rest of the activities I'm doing I need to discard. I'm looking for another income-producing activity to replace this shitty security guard job I took on as a "recession backup plan".
It's true, SimpleGuy: Celebs, with all their money, have no FREEDOM, because here comes the paparazzi, at every corner, waiting to snap pics of and scrutinize every zit, every glob of cellulite, every flaw in behavior!
There's definitely a floor or threshold that, when met, makes things a whole lot easier.
My younger brother has more than he could possibly use. He just enjoys gazing at his heap of gold. He's made compromises tho..in the way he treats ppl. And is bitter inside.
Again, IMHO those who have lots and lots can give the appearance of being peaceful, of being free, but most often that's for export. Other ppl more familiar w them, and with similar prestige -- know.
"Power over and power for" has always been a concept I liked. But too there is a thing psychologists say: about where the control comes from..over the things that happen to a person. If the control is perceived to come from inside, great. But if a person feels like others are calling the shots, then :(
Note "perceived." A shoeshine person may have forces affecting him, obvious to us, which limit...what WE think are his choices. But if he enjoys his interaction w ppl, accepts his role, and is seeing tangible signs he is helping out others.... He feels that in what matters to him he has a say. The psychologists are talking about "perceived control." Koolman you used the word, "autonomy," which is the thing. Exactly.
As long as ya' don't feel others (or their dumb little rule books) are doing the steering /
Of course it's always a matter of degree.
If I were affluent I proly would not be on this forum, but would I be happier? I'd be busier, yes, would be able to go places and not so often be held back in that way. But I think I would have paid a price, I would have made compromises -- in order to be outwardly comfortable.
IMO I'm better off this way, more in charge of my future and of my feelings.
C.
Yes, money and LOVE are required to make us happy! Yes, enjoying good relationships with co-workers and/or business associates, as well as family members and friends, I'd say, is more important than the almighty buck. And, yes, a certain feeling of being in control of our own destiny is important. While health and other factors could fail us at any moment, I think most of us like to feel we're moving forward in a direction that pleases us and pleases some divine entity.
When Donald Trump, for example, is on his deathbed, he'll probably have some things to answer for when he passes on to the other side, and he'll have some things he did right too, and there will be karmic justice for those he wronged, like he'll have to come back and live in their position.
If the shoe-shine guy enjoys his relationships with his customers, I'd say the fact that he eeks out a meager amount of money shining shoes is irrelevant...if he makes those relationships with his customers the priority in his life.
That is, does losing a job make us anxious, fearful and unhappy, or do the thoughts we associate with losing a job make us anxious, fearful and unhappy?
It's the Game of Games and the true secret to happiness.