Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Maybe it just isn't. I've heard the "you got to get out there more" and "you gotta make the move" bs all before. And trust me....I have done that. I go out all the time and I try to make a move when I'm interested in a girl. And of course she ends up not being interested or is engaged/married or has a boyfriend. I've also heard the "Looks don't matter. Confidence does" bs, too. If that were true, I'd be lucky with women here because I used to be pretty happy with myself not long ago at all. So, my conclusion is maybe it just isn't my time. Now, I have been a few relationships before, but that was years ago when I was a teenager. Now? It's obviously harder. Especially since my tastes have changed. Sometimes I feel like I might just come across my next relationship online. I just can't realistically see it being with any other girl in the place I live. It may have happened years ago when I was a teenager and dated any girl that would like me back, but I can't see it happening now especially since I have higher standards (Call me shallow if you want, but they do have to be attractive) and am more mature now. I don't know. I just think I might end up finding my lover online or in another city/state/country. Anywhere but where I live. And it's not even really an insecurity thing...it's just I know how my town is Because they are the absolute harshest when it comes to this:. You can be the most confident person in the world, but if you aren't as attractive outside as you are inside, it really doesn't matter. It's just a harsh fact in life. Life is all about survival of the fittest after all. And psychical attractive will help you survive.
To daredevil,
I don't know for sure but I am guessing based on another thread of yours, you are young and maybe not yet in your twenties. Anyway, a lot of people are superficial in this world and that is just how things are. You should not worry so much about finding a girlfriend who you find beautiful because your time may come one day. In the meantime, I suggest you work on improving yourself education wise and when your time comes the ladies may find you irresistible.
I don't know if you are in high school or college. I also don't know if you can relate with what I am about to say.
In high school, most girls want to date the cool handsome confident popular guy. Maybe these guys are not the best students but they may be involved with sports or are the best looking or are best dressed. They are charming with the ladies and seem to have all the girls interest. At the same time, the nerdy looking smart guys (who may be A students) are often ignored. They don't appear as confident or interesting to the ladies. They may not even date at all.
In middle to late college years and even during grad school period, women interest has changed. The ladies are now checking out the smart guys who were once invisible. They are aware these guys are going to be successful in their careers (doctors, lawyers, etc) and will be powerful men. Some women are naturally attracted to powerful educated men. They no longer find the pretty boys to be their type or even see them as interesting.
Even though these smart educated guys may not be the best looking, they are quite aware that the ladies want them . They now choose from among the pool of women, which they will settle down with.
So maybe it is not yet your time to shine. But if you work on improving yourself now, you may one day have what you desire.
I know this sounds vain but it is often the reality in life. Some women are just more attracted to smart intelligent career focus men for various reasons. Looks tend to take a back seat and not the priority. These women may easily overlook the few extra pounds, and other flaws. Just sharing what I see myself.