marriage has never been a focus of my life either. And of the marriages that I personally know of, socialise with, am friends with etc - ugh. There is 1 that is healthy and happy.....the rest of them are either habit, obligation, fear, or laziness and both parties are miserable. It's depressing to be around. I'll take single, happy old maid any day - over miserable, depressed wife.

I agree with you CopingJust, I'll take single, happy old maid any day too, no hang on a minute, you have to be female to be a maid, should I have said butler? - over miserable, depressed husband.

bachelor dude.........you'd be a bachelor...........

Oh, and you would be maid as in maiden?

I think it CAN be...but it generally isn't. Why? Because people's egos, perfectionism, expectations, sense of entitlement are too high...because people change over time and their spouses aren't willing to roll with the changes yet keep God and their wedding vows at the center of their lives...and because both people in the marriage aren't willing to do the continual work on the relationship...communication, helpfulness, kindness, listening.

It's like: "We're here! We're married! We made it! The goal is accomplished...and now we can relax..." and they relax alright, really let themselves go...and fall into laziness and despair...then start nit-picking each's other's what they used to regard as cute quirks and they now regard as irritating faults.

I've often heard that 'men want women to stay the same while women want men to change'. Neither of which holds true. Thus, relationships are doomed to fail.

Makes sense to me, ManDown.

A successful union between two people is about compromise and trust: one will compromise because they trust the other will be fair, and two people require a two-way street to travel upon to facilitate this trust.

Trust begins to wane when one decides to place their interests first, hog the roadway, and re-assign it to a one-way. When this happens, the level of compromise the other is willing to make, diminishes, now that the roadway is closed to them, and this starts the ball of discontent rolling.

yikes!!!
Those statistics make me sad.

I am 50 and have never been married by my own choice.
But now yes I would like to get married. But when I see stuff like those stats you posted it bums me out because I would hate to ruin a really good thing with marriage.

Marriage, Yikes! lol

It's just a piece of paper. A Man's law that we place too much meaning on in our society.

The divorce rate says nothing at all about marriage, It only says something about people.

How could you "ruin a good thing" with marriage. You would be ruining a good thing because the thoughts and perceptions you have about marriage are in your mind and freaking you the hell out! lol

We stand in front of a person and he says... "I now pronounce you man and wife" we as a society act like that really means something. I'm pretty sure Brittany Spears and Kim Kardashian ( and my ex sister in law, *snort*) have shown that it's just a ceremony of our culture. Have you ever seen the movie "The Man with Two Brains" in the movie Steve Martin waves his arms in circles says some nonsensical words and "divorces" his wife. It is so great! I realize we live in our society and have to follow laws, but we don't have to believe everything society says. we make ourselves suffer so much by doing that!

I've been married over 25 years. The fact that we are still together even though we are pretty much " The Bickersons" doesn't say a thing about marriage, it only says something about us. Some days I love him, some days I hate him.. lol but I'm wise enough to know there are no perfect people, only compromise and taking responsibility for ourselves When I am unhappy with him I try to focus on what I am grateful for, sometimes all I can come up with is "he knows how to operate the snow plow" ha ha. Most divorced people just can't admit that they are at fault just as much as "the evil ex" I'm not talking about RARE cases when a person is seriously deranged. but like the song says.. " Things are only as important as we want them to be" In my opinion people make some really stupid stuff be "important" to them

I think marriage is good and i love it. I m not sorry i was married, not sorry i was divorced - it is a part of life.
The act of marriage tells me that both of us are willing to have a financial, legal and emotional union. A wedding ring symbolizes to the society that you are no longer available.
Whether people choose to follow this or not doesnt matter to me.
I would want my children to be married and have children in that type of a union whether they are gay or steaight.
It is really easy for an unmarried couple to break up.

I believe marriage completes a person spiritually. Of course, both people have to be on board. So many people out there don't take it seriously, or think that the relationship is not as important to work out. I think too many people give up easily. Marriage must be negotiation. Two people will never fulfill each other's need 100%, but I think instead of talking things out from the beginning... people think to solve their issues with partner on their own... then comes cheating, and lying, or growing apart. I think key to marriage is communication, and for people to stop being selfish. Marriage is about helping each other out, not fulfilling each other's needs 100% perfection. It's not about yourself when your married, it is about the two of you. I think that's why so many people get divorced. I've never been married, though... came close to it. From personal experience, my ex-fiancee never told me what was bothering him, then decided to bail without giving me chance to make things right. I felt that was very unfair, but what's done is done.

I think some people just expect marriage to happen and exist happily without putting in effort like compromise.