Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Usually I'm pretty good about anger. I channel it into something positive, work. And I'm fiercely ambitious. But in this bone-dry economy, I've lost that sense of purpose, so it's all too easy to sink into the well of negativity. Man, when I channel that anger into something positive, look out world! It seems the bloody economy is on the rebound.
When it comes to relationships, it seems anger is useful in generating lust. But one has to also be loving and supportive. Trying to get there with someone. My advances are not always accepted. This is another source of anger. It seems I have to be on board with the money game to get anywhere in the romantic game, which brings us back to paragraph one.
Oh, well...guess this is just a vent, folks. Anyone else relate?
When it comes to relationships, it seems anger is useful in generating lust. But one has to also be loving and supportive. Trying to get there with someone. My advances are not always accepted. This is another source of anger. It seems I have to be on board with the money game to get anywhere in the romantic game, which brings us back to paragraph one.
Oh, well...guess this is just a vent, folks. Anyone else relate?
Anger is really a 'response emotion' that we accept to a point, because we're comfortable with it. It makes sense and we feel normal and human about it. But, there's is ALWAYS something deeper inside that anger is covering up. Feelings of inadequecy, insecurity, self loathing.....the list goes on and on. We're a complex emotional being!
In this regard, using anger to generate lust; another perpetual feeling that stems from other truer feelings is a bit dangerous. Anger and lust are not two components that lead into the beauty and purity of a true physical connection.
Based on your other posts, you seem to be very in touch with many 'surface' emotions. It's time to go a bit deeper and find out what is making you tick.
Are you only a worthy person if you are financially successful? Do you think that's what everyone else in the world also values? Strip away the monetary outlook; take a look at yourself simply as a man...a human. Who are you and how can you sucessfully alter your character/outlook to project out what you want brought into your life?
I hope you take some time to go inward and discover yourself. It may be that you really are not quite ready for a relationship until you understand what is going on deep down in there and deal with it. Once we find our own inner balance.....we attract it and our lives move much more smoothly.
"Feelings of inadequecy, insecurity, self loathing.....the list goes on and on". Yes, you hit the nail on the head! I guess we all feel this-?
Trying to think of myself as "pretty", as a beautiful human being, who is deserving of love, and capable of loving. It's extremely painful, of course. Somewhere along the line, and I think it goes back to 4th grade, when I was picked on by a bunch of jocks whom I was trying to suck up to get to the cheerleaders. I think they thought I was a homosexual, but that was so not the case; I was just really trying to fit in with the "in" crowd. Superficiality, again, rears its ugly head.
I do know now, finally, in my 40s, what love is, that it comes directly from the heart, so we must make our hearts pretty and open to love and being loved. Being here really helps. The monetary thing isn't so much for selfish motives as it is I don't want to be a liability TO HER. But, I guess, focus on being loving and supportive of her. In the process, she'll be able to work harder, as will I.
Thanks, sweetie!