Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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koolman 04/20/2008

How is this possible when part of the pleasure of your existence is loving others? Human beings are social creatures, and interaction with each other is part of a healthy life!

But I'll agree that when you're loving someone who doesn't return that love, unrequited love is damaging to your psyche...

deleted_user 04/20/2008

koolman

I completely agree with you, it is. We were created to love others but when you keep giving and they shut down, blame you, or deny having their own behavior problems that affect others in bad ways its time to go. They live in a world called denial where the fault lies with someone else. They have to figure it out on their own.

We all want that person who is loving and supportive unconditionally. They are hard to find but worth waiting for.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

You need to love yourself in order to love someone else.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

Disagree Daggy totally I dont even like me but love my beloved that is a cliche to the point of triteness.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

I am starting to learn this the hard one. I do not love myself for who I am, what I am and what I want to become. Therefore I question what I even have to offer to my bf. There is obviously somethign there he loves about me(dating for 5yrs in july) but I am nervous for him to sit down and ask me what I love about him because I am so lost in my thoughts and in the issues in my life that I do not know how to answer that anymore. Anyone else relate to me?

deleted_user 04/20/2008

Although if I were to ever lose my bf I could not go on. He is my shoulder to cry on and my rock.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

You can't give love, if you don't have any to give.

During my months of Clinical Depression, I arrived at this conclusion. As I felt emotionally numb, did not feel love for myself or anyone. I was devoid of feeling love because I did not feel I loved myself.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

I totally agree...
It makes me happiest to make and see my wife and son happy and healthy. If we are having problems, I get really down. As for not getting it in return, been going through that all winter, that finally ended thi week actually, we've been and still are working on our marriage but, I'm now happier than I was all winter because, they are happy.

deleted_user 04/20/2008

IMO, When you think you love someone but don't love yourself, you are fooling yourself because you want that person to be with you thus making you selfish and thus is called self centered love.

Once you accept that it is a form of selfish love for only yourself, you can learn to direct that love to others too.

Love does start with yourself. You try to find someone to love you to validate it.

If you don't care about yourself, how in the world can you care for others?

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