I don’t think couples counseling will solve for an abusive spouse, in my opinion.

Are you seeing a counselor for yourself. This sounds like a really bad situation that could escalate. Plus your kids... they are perceptive and take in everything. Not good for you or them.

Call an attorney and just at least know your legal rights. And then call the police next time he draws blood. I mean, come on, right?

This sounds like an abusive relationship . I can't tell u to leave by you need to consider your safety and the safety of your children. I don't think counseling will fix certain issues.

I will pray for you to be strong and protect yourself and your kids

We’ve been together for 10 years that was the first of its kind and I’m still shook it happened. He seemed honestly surprised it actually hurt he kept insisting that a yoga ball shouldn’t have hurt me. But it did and our toddler was right next to me when it happened. I’m not the perfect person no one is but I definitely don’t feel like deserved it or most of his lashing out. His family pretty much hates me and I can tell that it’s bleeding into our relationship. He has been getting paranoid over the last 2 years or so and after things got physical I feel like I have no choice but to let go

So is he thinking if it didn’t hurt it is ok to do that? That is nuts.

Document everything. Everything. I don’t know if he has mental health issues or is just really unhappy, but regardless, it’s not right.

This sounds dangerous and it's no good to have children around someone who has no self control

I wonder to about mental health with regards to thinking that you poisoned him??

IF he has a mental illness and truly believes that you're trying to kill him he could be dangerous.... IF he believes he has to defend himself

Do you know what's causing the paranoia?... Is he taking drugs? or has be been diagnosed with a delusional disorder?

No one deserves abuse and shame on him for doing this.... I'm going to give you a list of crisis numbers to call in case you need them

Do you have family that you could go to stay with.... I would perhaps call a woman's abuse shelter for some advise...

Big hug.....xo

Crisis Resources

https://support.dailystrength.org/hc/en-us/articles/207430776-What-if-I-need-emergency-help-

If he's getting more and more volatile I wouldn't wait for something awful to happen...

The most dangerous time is when you're leaving so please make any changes in a safe way for you and the children..

Big hug and a blessing.... xo

Some info on leaving an abusive relationship

https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

You should file a formal abuse complaint with your local social services and police department even if you don't press any assault charges. But be aware that if children are involved, sometimes they will remove the children from both of you until you have it worked out.

Also remember that if he's unhappy he has as much right to leave as you do and you have no obligation to abandon your home. If he's abusive, chances are that you can have him removed, keep your home, and file for child maintenance and alimony, which he will have to pay regardless of his objections, and if you feel threatened, you can also get a restraining order.

Given what you said above, I would not say a word about it to him either as it could put you and your children's welfare in jeopardy. I know it's difficult, but a zero tolerance attitude on abusive behavior, especially if it includes physical harm, is perfectly acceptable.

Many therapists find it unethical to do couples counseling when there is physical abuse because this only perpetuates the physical abuse. So couples counseling in this situation may not happen even if he agrees. But why should he agree to this when in his warped mind, you are his possession and the "bad one" while he is king of the hill? If your husband is paranoid and/or imaging things that aren't real, is he using drugs? Or drinking alcohol to excess or daily in large quantities? There could be a mental health component to this behavior also. But you have to take care of those kids and they are seeing their dad harm their mother and this causes anxiety and stress in the kids. So for your kids sake, for their developing brains, please get out. The same anxiety and stress you feel is what the kids feel and it can effect the growing brain, just like it effects your brain in your own fear and anxiety. Whatever you do, keep it secret from him to protect yourself and the kids. Go to - or call - a battered woman's shelter, because at this point he will continue to escalate more than likely. They can advise you properly. Know that when women get out, this is when the danger often escalates because to the man, the woman he abuses is his possession. He is not going to change! Quietly pack up some clothing, all the money you can, yours and the kids papers and medications, and get out. Make copies of your tax records or any investments he may have but do this quietly. So you may need a plan and to work that plan. But if he gets physical again, please be ready and get yourself and the kids to a shelter. Counseling won't save your marriage but it will help you, but first you have to get out. He is irrational, paranoid, and physically abusive. He blames you for nonsensical things. He wants you to feel demeaned and less than so you don't fight for your independence. He does nothing in the house or with the kids because he expects you to carry the entire load while he demeans and belittles you. This is clearly abuse tactics. The abuser's goal is to control the other person and to do that entails making you feel less than and not able to function without the abuser. Your life and your kids' lives are in your hands right now. Your kids will grow up to have low self esteem and be attracted to abusers or end up hating you for not saving them. Its not win for you to stay in the marriage as it is right now. Get an attorney ASAP. Protect those kids, protect yourself. I care about you and I am sorry you are experiencing this.

Sounds like drug use or mental breakdowns/ mental illness. First place to start is to secure your and your children's safety then look at what he can do as far as going to a doctor or professional of some sort. I'm not saying any of what he did is ok- but you know him and know that this isn't him. Part of vows to me is being there and supportive of them even if it's from a distance and even when they are at their lowest. However if he is not willing to change, you look out for you and the kids cause that's what matters. Hopefully he will get help.

This sounds like your husband may have a mental health problem. He certainly is not respecting you and/or treating you as his wife and/or the mother of his children. You and your children may be in serious danger and your husband may be in danger of doing something he will regret. He needs help now!!!!!

You and your children need protection. Please do whatever it takes to keep ALL of you safe. If you need counseling for you and the children’s sake- please do it. This really sounds like it is fast becoming URGENT. I am praying for you. I pray for safety and protection for all of you. I pray for you to find help for each of you as it is needed. God bless you.

Be honest and tell him how you feel, and then ask for him to consider it. You might need to get serious and give him an ultimatum.