Honestly, i see a lot of people are focusing on making themselves happy.
If everyone learned to be aware of other people's happiness and needs and do things for each other more, the world wouldnt be such a shitty place as it is now. Everyone is out for themselves, as a result everyone is tugging on their corner lf the blanket and wonder why they cant get warm.

I agree that, in order to be able to make others happy, we have to be happy with ourselves and accept ourselves...the good, the bad, and the ugly. We cannot make someone happy if we are a miserable person inside looking for someone or something to fill a void.

Once I took some time (after my divorce) to do some soul-searching and learn about the faults I was brining to the table, I was able to actually believe I deserved a good man. I was happy with myself, my station in life, and didn't "need" a relationship to make me feel satisfied. I wanted a partner to complement and share my life with.

I don't see it as focusing on ourselves at the expense of others. I think it is focusing on ourselves so that we can be to others what we should...a partner.

My happiness is NOT above anyone else's...especially that of my partner. But, if I hadn't been happy or in a good place prior to meeting him, I feel I would have inadvertently sabotaged the relationship or I would have gone for the losers like I had in the past and not even given him a chance.

I suppose it's perspective. I don't look at having taken that time to focus on myself to find my inner happiness as having been anything other than a good decision for me.

~Michelle

That's what I was trying to say, Redhead

A stimulating, emotionally enriching CAREER, that brings in a lot of money too, would make me happy! I'm looking for it...

Have always enjoyed amateur movie and TV production as a kid. I still like video production, being part of a smooth-running, well-honed team. I get little scraps of free-lance work in it here and there. I don't have to be the director or the producer, the head honcho. I'd like to be part of a good camera crew. Turning this into steady bucks has been next to impossible. I'm never far ahead financially on it. Some months it alone actually keeps me afloat!

Even if I lived in L.A., I'd starve like so many others out there. This business is free-lance. Episodic TV is probably about as steady as work in film and TV is, if you happen to beat out all the others to land the gig, until the show goes off the air due to insufficient ratings, in which case, hopefully you'll land in another show.

Science also appeals to me. Short of going into more debt with student loans continuing formal education, I continue to informally educate myself.

So, for me, enjoying what I DO, what I'm devoting so many hours of my week to, is a big part of whether I'm happy. When there is a general dissatisfaction as far as career not being stimulating and career not bringing in enough money to live on, I'm not very happy. When the work is there, the work is interesting and the money is there aplenty, I'm very happy indeed!

"as work in film and TV is"

"OF work in film and TV THAT THERE is" is what I meant to say.

I concur!

I preach this all the time! Truth!

I'm not happy when I am alone. I like to have someone to do nice things for. Making others happy makes me happy. When I make cookies and my boys are excited and appreciate that I made them cookies I am happy. I cooked for some guy friends for Father's Day and it made them happy so I was happy. I know that I am a person that is not good on my own. Scary thought because before long my boys will grow up and leave home.

I love being alone. I love my life. I would love it more, as Koolman pointed out, if what I loved to do earned me enough money, but......starving artist and all that stuff. Life goes on. When your alone, you are free to do the things you enjoy, and have time to figure out who you are, and love yourself and what you are doing.

I think a certain unhappiness and dissatisfaction is what drives us to improve, progress, succeed.

I totally agree with you Shelle.

If I'm happy, I make others lives happy too. So I agree.

I think you've got to be right with yourself or you are bringing your damaged self and expecting that person to help heal you or fix you. I am a pleaser myself, so I know I need a healthy partner who can appreciate, without taking advantage of me. If I am not healthy I won't attract a healthy woman. At least I am thinking that makes sense. Haha!

If only happy people that are fine with themselves can date, what is the point? If you're happy, why would you want anything more? Sounds like a paradox of some sort.

I think it's way more about accepting another person as they are, whether they are happy or not. Everyone deserves to be loved and not everyone can be all high and alright, who here is? Some of us have been through really awful stuff that will never go away.

Who would be there for those people on that road?

I think it's better to say ''stop looking'' then you love falls out of the blue