Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Hello All,
Okay so I am in a Dilemma and I'm not sure what to do about it. I am of course trying to listen to my intuition and it is seeming to be harder than I expected. I also expect that I already know what I want and cannot form into words or follow through. So I am living with my boyfriend, "S", we just moved in together. He is great, absolutely wonderful. I am the happiest I have ever been and he is totally understanding of everything and has never reacted badly. We met through our mutual friend "K". K and S have known each other for ten years. S's cousin was K's first real love and relationship. Anyway, K and I are also best friends and K needs a place to stay. Before S and I met, he offered K a place to live. K and I have talked about it and I said yeah that would be great and we could all live in S's house. Now, about three weeks away from her moving in, I am feeling a little weird about things. K tends to be a bit bossy at times and can react badly to things at first, which she shortly realizes and apologizes. This has happened a few times with me. I am a very stong individual, so it is not that I feel bossed around or controlled (good luck to anyone who tries to control me), but I feel like the person in the middle. K would never talk to S the way she talks to me at times and S and I have talked about that. However in this most recent situation, K bitched to me about S's thinking in getting a puppy and was mentioning that she should talk some sense into him and pressuring me to agree with her, which I didn't. I should also mention that we all get along great with each other for the most part. I also know myself and I have a tendency to be jealous. We hung out this weekend and K and S were just telling stories about each other's families and quoting movies together and I felt completely left out. I don't know how to talk to S about this because we have talked about it so much that I feel like it is beating a dead horse. I know S would tell her she couldn't move in if I said that no she absolutely couldn't and then I would be putting my best friend out and saying no to a situation that was already going to happen before S and I ever met. Not to mention the money we could save if we all 3 lived together. I guess my question is.....could her moving in be a learning situation for me to overcome my jealousy and "being left out" feelings?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Not want her parents to know. This was years ago our relationship took the hit, she did
Marry the guy. HUGS
RMB, from what we have talked about, she wanted to stay for a year, but would leave at any time if something didn't work out and my BF told me that if we tried it and it didn't work out with her leaving there then he would have no problem giving her 30 days to find another place, which she could easily live with other friends or with her Mom. I thought the puppy was a great idea. When it came down to it, it didn't work out for a few reasons, but the way she came at me really bothered me. I just kept saying, well it sounds like this is a conversation that you need to be having with S. In regards to the living arrangements, she would be paying less, I would pay more than her for the carport and S would pay a bit more than me. It is his house in his name that he bought himself, so pretty much what he says goes....although he is very equal with me and he considers the house mine as well as his and is actually going to put me into it all somehow because I will be paying into it. He is not going to do that with K. I think the dynamic will definitely change though and I'm not sure if it will be for the better. I'm already having such reservations about the situation and she hasn't even moved in yet.
Mirandac, I am afraid that it will create issues and bad feelings with all of us. Thank you for sharing that and hugs back!
I have done a lot of thinking today and I'm going to talk to my bf tonight and tell him that I am not comfortable with the situation and don't think it will be in the best interest of what we are trying to build together and our relationship. I think it will be more detrimental than good.
I have a two bedroom apt now if i need to downsize i will go studio or even rent a room vs
Having a roomate. HUGS