My husband glows in the dark from all his computer time. He is a tech manager by day and an internet surfer by night. He calls it, "E-crack."

Is it any consolation that at least I know where to find his physical body? He comes up with allot more interesting tidbits from the internet surfing than he would from Prime Time TV. To be honest, I don't see it as much of a problem, but then we had been married for a decade or three before laptops were even available. I might have sung an entirely different tune as a newlywed. Work wise, I was already working computers while he was graduating HS in 1974.

I actually don’t have a problem with it myself either. My husband I get up early, work a long day, and go up to bed early so by the time we eat, do whatever needs to be done around the house, etc, there is little time to just decompress. We both like to mindlessly surf the internet or read our new feeds on our devices to sort of unwind. It doesn’t really affect our relationship in that if we weren’t doing that, we’d likely be flipping tv channels or reading magazines and books but I can see if the use is to the exclusion of the relationship or connecting. Like, if my husband and I are talking with each other we aren’t doing it while on the phone or a laptop. I just think it depends on the relationship overall.

If I were sick I would not expect my husband to sit next to me, or not go do his thing but truly that is just me. I kind of want to be left alone when I don’t feel well and my husband kind of knows that. I know if I told my husband I didn’t feel he would not see it as an opportunity for romance. But that’s us. We’ve been together for a good while now so it may just be we are just who we are and know each other so well that we just don’t get too hung up on the romance at this point. We are not super romantic people by nature.

If it bothers you I’d try to negotiate with him to limit his time on the lap top to an hour or two at night, or something like that. Or you both agree on one or two evenings during the week that is device free.

I think the computer age has replaced TV for many people...

I'm older and find the texting terrible at times

You go to a party and half the party is on their phones

If it's really concerning to you I would tell him that you'd like to have a discussion with some solutions in mind.... Like dates etc

It's probably his way of unwinding...… Big hug.....xo

"One dead cell phone battery away from a conversation breaking out." Luke, Modern Family


Growing up...my father had his head stuck in the newspaper for a couple of hours...different media...same issue.

Not a problem at all. Totally normal.

Log onto the laptop and setup a timer on it. Set the timer to disable the WiFi during certain hours. Or you can find out the sites that visits and then block them on your wireless router during certain times. But he would not be happy if you did that. But maybe that’s what you need to do.

yea, my husband does that too, but he's a tech guy and works multiple jobs so it's semi-justified. Tell him how you feel. He's probably just bored with life or something. Try to suggest other bonding things to do and see what he says.

He is getting something from it that he needs. Most people feel the need for change when they are feeling stagnant. He is probably so preoccupied with his needs that he is forgetting about yours.

It sounds like potentially a bit of an escape. My ex did that kind of thing a lot..

I cared to work on the relationship but it got to the point where he couldn’t really handle being in one due to issues that he had

So would anyone feel differently if the 3-4 hours a day were spent playing candy crush as a form of self-soothing to escape anxiety?

My husband does the same thing. He loves utube car videoes and its his way of relaxing as he has a very stressful job and commute. My husband unfortunately isnt an affectation guy so if i want to cuddle or something i have to say “ hey can we watch together “ or something. I try to compromise. I want time with him and he enjoys videos so I combine. Tell him how u feel. Let him know u need more romantic time. Hopefully he’ll respect ur wishes and needs. My husband does but i have to tell him what i want. Romance just isn’t on his brain. And its always on mine.