I would say it is best if you both learn each others languages so that you can both feel loved in the relationship.
That was the problem in my marriage, I tried to learn my husbands language of love and make sure he felt my love but he didn't learn mine or try to do the things that would make me feel loved, thus eventually leading to the demise of our marriage.

I agree. Both learn each other's love languages. If one or the other is lazy and doesn't want to, of course, this inevitably leads to the fizzling out of the whole relationship.

Happened to me. I was doling out most of the love and getting very little in return. She surely did appreciate my giving her gentle back and neck-rubs, gentle kisses on the temples, and having her earlobes nibbled. I would've simply appreciated the same, as well as other, more intimate acts, of course.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Each person needs to try to do what they can to meet the needs of the other. That means that BOTH of you need to learn each other's love language.

Marriage is NOT a 50/50 relationship. If you are only putting 50% of yourself into your relationship then you are short changing both your spouse and yourself.

So ya'll are saying we all should be bilingual, huh?

Yes, pretty much so, or almost multi lingual if we have kids too, and want them to feel really loved.

I guess to me I look at your situation in a different way. When you are involved with someone that has a different culture it can be a bit exciting as well as educational to learn each other's language and customs. It doesnt mean that have to consider it an obligation and slave away trying to pronounce everything perfect but I think by learning from each other can make you both feel closer to each other.

I find a lot of people are happy to share their language and customs with someone they care about when asked to do so. Anyway why not take a chance with each other and learn from one another rather then trying to decide who should be the one to learn a new language. Hoping you both can learn even more about each other by involving yourselves in learning both languages. Best wishes to you both:)

I think that when you can understand what languages of love you are each speaking, it then becomes a whole heck of alot easier to understand what the other is saying. The key is in finding that understanding. It can be a down right painful key to find at times. But, when it's found and both are putting in the effort, it's so much worth it!

Good luck to you in finding it!

I think it's both. But it's better for you to go ahead and speak his love language first and not wait for him, otherwise, you may be waiting a while; and he may start feeling love enough to start speaking your love language once you express that need to him.

As for me, I will never ever be involved with a woman again who doesn't naturally speak the same love language as I do.

Good luck.

In order to figure out what his love language is, you will need him to answer the questionaire in the book. It would be good if both of you read the book together to "get on the same page" so to speak.

Another book that I read that I found worthwhile was "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley. It has similar concepts as The 5 Love Languages but goes about it in a bit different way.

Actually, this was pretty much just a rhetorical question - just to provoke some thought and discussion.

My hubby is a Tasker and I am a Talk/Touch...I do little things around the house he likes (fixing door handles, changing light bulbs, etc.) and make sure to thank him for all the little things he does. He sets time aside to sit and talk with me about the important stuff and the little stuff. He hugs me whenever we pass in the hall and he holds my hand when we go out.

We each learned pretty quickly how to recognize how to show love and see how the other shows us. It really helped us to understand the quirks that could be annoying! Now instead of thinking "Oh, he's going to be working on the house today", I think "Wow, he's showing his love for our family by making our home beautiful".

For me, it simply boils down to passion, warmth. The rest of our "stuff" and "circumstances" aside, when it boils down to just the two of us, I want to generate, and feel, that warmth. Don't know how else to describe it. I want to feel that warmth, when I look at her and touch her, and want the same from her in return.

But we're all different. My mother expresses her love to me by buying me "stuff" for my apartment. My dad expresses his love to me by inviting me to play golf with him.