Thank you for posting this

Decent - but, I still think communication is important, and people maintaining their authentic selves within a couple.

I believe meaningful and beneficial communication, both active and passive, flows from kindness and generosity.

I'd also suggest the closer one is to understanding who and what they truly are, the more apt they are to be kind and generous.

One other point: Kindness and generosity is best practiced with everyone. Not only those we know and love, lovers, family and friends, acquaintances and co-workers but also strangers and yes, even difficult people and those we don't particularly care for.

Really good article. Thank you for sharing. TTMI, I read the article as being all about communicating and being able to be yourself. It's ways in which we communicate to each other acceptance, joy, and approval of who we are, or are critical, and dismissing of who we are. All of these things communicate to us if we are loved and accepted, or not accepted for who we truly are.

MUTUAL kindness and generosity, yes!

One can only control one's own behavior. I can extend kindness and generosity to another. It's their choice to extend the same to me.

My XGF was extremely critical and judgmental, and though she always said she wasn't, she was very self-absorbed. It was always about her.

Her personality eventually resulted in me being a little more closed than usual. I was walking on egg shells, always waiting for the next shoe to drop.

The physical chemistry was great, and in the beginning so was the emotional connection, however as time went by the emotional connection fell apart.

So yeah, it needs to be mutual to last.

Yes, it has to be MUTUAL via good communication, or....then...all the generosity and kindness won't make a difference.

Agreeability, flexibility and a sense of humor are crucial. An overly critical, judgmental person will not be happy, alone or in a relationship.

Most people think they are kind and generous.
This one guy thought he was kind and generous, always boosting about it.
However, he was very judge mental, crustal of others, bitter with his words, and he was always right and awesome.. In his mind.

Ok, I'm not gonna lie - I do enjoy picking at the peeps who always have to be right. I get the biggest laugh over egotistical people.

Only be kind and generous if that is your true nature. It's gross when people force it or do it expecting something in return. Blech!

oOoREBoOo - that is really true.

The people who fake kindness and generosity to "look good".

Thought, emotion, form and identity are in constant flux.

Sometimes nice people become cynical and embittered.

Sometimes not so nice people have an epiphany or moment of clarity and turn their lives around.

Most people just stay parked in their comfort zone, whether it's nice, not so nice or somewhere between.

What is a person's true nature? Is it even possible to know with certainty?

Is the correct question 'Who am I' or is it 'What am I'?

Perhaps it's more about unlearning than learning? By unlearning who we think we are we come closer to understanding what we truly are?

I believe with sufficient motivation and willpower people can effect fundamental and sometimes dramatic change.

Many people who think they are kind and generous but still can't attract love should wonder why. I knew a man who complained bitterly that love never worked out for him. Sooner or later he felt himself to be wronged and he NEVER forgave. Everyone ended up on his s--- list because no one is perfect. Therefore, when someone made a mistake, this man would just grow more bitter and hostile. He did not see himself as he was. This despite therapy and repeating his mistake over and over. He once referred to his then-wife as "that life-form that lives in my house." Not surprisingly, they divorced.