I have been dating this guy on and off for 2 years. The first time we broke up he told me he needed to make sure he was over his ex (the woman he cheated on his wife with and eventually left his wife for. Their relationship was about 5 years total and he has told me many times she was the love of his life. She lived in Texas, we live in Indiana) I accepted that. Dated other people. Moved on. Well he came crawling back to me, begging for a second chance. So while we dated the second time it was great for the first month. Then his temper started to show. He punched holes in the walls inches from my face, called me a cun* more than once, called me a f****** b**** many times. He convinced me to move in, then would tell me to "go home" during fights. Then ask me to stay. Then tell me to go or break up, then, ask me to stay. He was still sending his ex girlfriend money (behing my back). He refused to remove all their nick nacks from our home. It was disastrous. So I walked away and swore I would never go back. I began dating a really nice guy and was quite happy. A couple months later he started basically stalking me. Sending me emails (I had blocked him from every other possible way he could communicate) He also started driving by my house at all hours. Going to my parents to talk to them. Sending me flowers. He bought me an engagement ring and a car.  He read some book and swore it resonated with him and that he had 100% changed. All the things I told him I could not deal with him from before he said he understood. That he had changed. I decided to give it one more go. All my family and friends begged me not to, but I did, and now have very difficult relationships with them. At first he had changed. He was sweet and loving. But....

Within three weeks of dating he had punched another hole in the wall, told me he hated me, told me I did nothing for him, started with the name calling. Etc.  He told me it was my fault for not convincing my family and friends he was a different person. ( beieve me, I tried). The first time we fought was because he wanted to go out to a bar to sell some season tickets he had. He informed me one of the girls he was dating during our break up would be there- and well frankly- I did not want to go. I went anyways and was very nice. She liked me a lot. Once we left I asked him to never ask that of me again. He told me I was a fucking bitch and punched the hole in the wall when we got home. He flew off the handle. It started to go downhill after that because I was expecting the man he promised me he had changed in to. I asked him to go to therapy. He refuses. He thinks because he has a lot of money that I need to be grateful for everything he does give me- like that is what should.matter. he thinks I should look past the things he says when he is mad, but I can't. Is it normal during a fight for things like "I hate you, I resent you, you're a bitch, cunt, etc, you do nothing for me" to be said?