I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. These 4 months have been really up and down- he's really opened up to me but at the same time, I feel like he's still preserved many of his selfish ways and egotistical traits. Still, my feelings grow for him more and more as we spend time together. One day he'll show up with flowers and take me on an amazing date, and the next, I won't hear from him all day, or he'll act withdrawn somewhat, and make snide disinterested comments. It's really hard, because the times he's showing me that he cares are becoming more consistent, and overriding his bad behavior. Yet we'll have days when I feel like I'm at fault for pushing him away. We have known each other for a very long time and have a lot of history--- before we started dating he was not always good to me, and known as a player and a general asshole to women. Last night, I texted to see how his night was going (after not speaking all day), and I didn't hear back. As the hours went on til about midnight (I sent the message around 7)... I grew increasingly unhappy and felt like I had done something to push him away. He finally called me, and when I asked what he was up to, he said he was just hanging out...... it's just kind of dismissive in my opinion. The whole "playing hard to get" thing should have gone out the window when we started dating. It seems juvenile, and I hate feeling like I have to wait around for him to contact me. But at the same time, I feel like he responds to no contact, and he likes the chase. Personally, I just don't want to engage in that type of relationship-- it's not mature, and the games should be over if we have been dating for this long. He then went on to tell me how he thought it was funny I texted him asking what he was up to, and that it showed him that I cared about him.... I was embarrassed! What's the big deal in asking what he's up to? We ARE dating after all, but he made such a big deal out of it in a joking way that I felt self- conscious and that I looked like a clinger..... and then I started to question whether or not it was him or me, and whether it was right if I texted him in the first place. I hung up angry that he made those remarks, and felt like he doesn't treat me like his girlfriend or give me the respect on certain days that a girlfriend should get. Of course I CARE ABOUT HIM... I'm DATING HIM... I was so confused and angry he said that. I think it flattered him, but in my mind, I felt like sending that text showed him I care and was interested in talking to him and therefore pushed him away. I just feel like he pulls back, and I feel like I have to wait for him to contact me.... because of things like last night. If I contact him, I'm worried I'll be seen as clingy... and that remark he made didn't help me overcome this fear. Is it him or me?