Well I would have bluntly said, so what you are asking for is a ride?

The wedding thing, well it depends if the Bride wanted it or the maid of honor. if it was the maid of honor I would have been pissed if it was too much for my budget. If it was the bride, I would have to suck it up or not participate.

one of the activities was the bride's request... however the maid of honor booked a room without prior consent from us. thats what pissed me off.

What you are asking from people is grace and logic. I have the same problem And the same response.
You need new friends sounds like :-)

I hate assumptions and having to live up to others expectations. I am who I am, and if you're a true friend, you should already know that.

I feel I have a similar problem with certain people in my life at times (and never with others). A few of my co-workers in particular, tend to act victimized and angry at multiple people, multiple times a day, and it can be taxing to interact with them. Close friends and family, however, don't seem to react this way to me. It can be hard to strike the balance with being assertive. People tend to perceive things from their own point of view, and not necessarily from the point we intend it. So sometimes people, for example the MOH in your case, may feel a bit defensive if she did in fact commit you to something she shouldn't have (and/or if she's gotten flack from others about it too); so her reaction might be to deflect it back onto you and act as though you're being too harsh, in an attempt to take the heat off of herself.

Also, sounds like the person bumming the ride probably has some insecurities inside herself that make it hard for her to ask others for help when she needs to.

I struggle some, deciding when to stand up for myself, then when I decide to do so, carefully choosing my words and actions, then to have a poor response from certain people. It's hard not to get down over that, but likely their responses have more to do with them and less to do with you. I know I feel a lot of the time that I cannot stand up for myself or be assertive, because it's not worth dealing with others if they don't like it. Part of it is learning (which is hard, and I am working on it too) that when it is right to say something, and if you've tried your hardest to speak your truth kindly, then that's all you can control. Not their reaction, unfortunately.
((HUGS))

Situation One: Perhaps you've been too blunt for said lady and she decided she'd rather ride with someone else. Oh, well--ya can't please everybody.

Situation Two: Considering you (and others) are PAYING, I think you reacted just fine.

That said, there is such a thing as TACT. How warm and fuzzy are you when you're in non-problematic, non-confrontational, socially fluffy situations with these women when you're all just trying to laugh and have a good time?

Was the hotel too expensive for your budget, or is it just the fact that she didn't check with you first?

If the hotel she picked was within my budget I would let it go and no problem. If the hotel WAS too expensive I would explain that" I wished we could have decided as a group, because I would have let you know I need to stay somewhere cheap"

Maybe the lady hitching a ride thinks you are good enough friends that it's a given that you wouldn't mind giving her a ride? Again.. Is there enough room in your car? Or do you just feel you are being disrespected?

I don't agree you need new friends... I would just communicate to them in a nice way.

I'm taking it that you would never do the things these people are doing. You always check with the group before making financial plans.. and you would never assume to hitch a ride without asking.
So as long a you are expecting to be treated the same way you treat people I think it would be fine to communicate this as long as you are truly coming from a place of love and kindness and not hate and meanness.

When people treat us in a way we feel we don't deserve I think we have the choice to communicate to them ( if we want a relationship with the person) Or we can just cut ties with them if we don't think it's worth the effort to communicate.

I am guessing that these are just a couple of examples of things that bother you a lot??... Is this what you're 'saying'?

The first example wouldn't bother me at all... It 'sounds' to me like you may think you're being taken advantage of??

If it's a good friend I imagine the person just feels very comfortable with you and didn't think it would be a problem even though it bothered you

I do think it's important to pick our battles... Boundaries are most definitely important however pushing people away on a regular basis can really hurt you... Is this what you think you may be doing yellowy?

The second example I agree is spot on... Renting a room is a big deal and then what you have to do in order to put on the event can be costly

Big hug and a blessing...x