Why is he angry? please elaborate-

He got frustrated with wallpapering the livingroom on Friday. Then later the same day thinks I slagged off his brother ... which I didn’t, I simply expressed to my son that we can’t just go round his house anytime we like because his brother doesn’t like people going round when he’s in ... I rule I was given & have been following for about 3 years

Sounds like he has some issues he needs to deal with. Is he just taking out frustrations on you? Is he usually able to process his emotions?

Maybe he just needs some space and a little cooling off time Is your son from him?- No one just feels that their losing someone after 4 years because their pissed at wall papering and something with the brother, Now if this is a guy that in the past never gets mad and you feel he is taking little happenings and
turning it into something explosive- then you wait till he calms down and do
what the men do when the car breaks down- trouble shoot. Make him a nice
meal his favorite- ask him and talk sweetly to test the water temp at the time- say to him Hey hon, I just want to love on you and see that lately if there is any thing you want me to do where you feel I may have come up short a bit- Hell Id be happy that he is dong the wallpapering- (smile)-Troubleshoot- because in the world we live in- uh its normal for a mate to huff and puff about wallpapering. In the past my mate would get mad hours after his team lost and icing on the cake was if he had not eaten as yet. So
maybe your worrying for nothing.

Thanks, you’ve given me plenty to think about. I’ll concider your advice wisely

Rules you've been given????

Is this an abusive guy?

" Make him a nice
meal his favorite- ask him and talk sweetly to test the water temp at the time- say to him Hey hon, I just want to love on you and see that lately if there is any thing you want me to do where you feel I may have come up short a bit"

No. Just no. If you have to do any of this to have a simple conversation with him, he's not worth having a conversation with. This reads right out of the 1950s, sucking up to an angry man who's angry at you just because he can be, because he's the man. You said you think this is the first time you are sure you are not at fault, as if every other time is your fault. I highly doubt that. Someone who flys of the handle about wallpaper has problems and likes to make others think they are the problem when in reality, it's all him.

Do you want to be in a relationship with someone you have to tiptoe around, thinking you have to suck up to have a simple conversation? Is this something new or has this been ongoing? I sense it's ongoing but I'm not there so only you can say. If this is ongoing, it might be time to consider moving on because if this is how you are treated routinely, what are you actually losing if you lose him?

No he’s not, his brother is a complicated person thats all.

Okay I've got it.... Can you have a sit down with him when you're both feeling calm and just discuss what's been going on?..... Sometimes little things can get under our skin like the wallpaper and a discussion can clear the air..... big hug....xo

He’s agreed to a sit down tommorrow, but then followed up by saying he’s not optimistic that we can fix things

I feel more is going on than you are revealing----- Simply put- his entire
mood towards you has changed? This is why I said sometimes a little space
can do it. I do not know your personality but with me sometimes my energy
was not in sync how it should be-----and this caused my other half to retort in
an undesirable fashion. I do agree with SunCloud when she said that sometimes the way we carry ourselves shows people how to treat us-(This was
in another forum (colleen and her mate that is disrespectful).But Bravo I suggest that when you do the sit down you pay attention to your body gestures- like after he says a sentence-lean in towards him like you are really soaking in what he is saying- Even if he says things that you feel are not your fault- give him leadway in the convo and show him that you have soaked in what he said.Remember in the convo one of the keys is that you Give him his space.You will thank us in the end.Then take time -a day or so to process what he says. Set another date and then respond in an open non-judgmental way to his points.Remember you are trying to establish a Safe Zone where everyone can be open and honest, Let us know how it goes, OMG so nervous for you- it'll be okay- praying for you LOTS of Love Your Way!!!!!!!!!

Oh also the cutest Yorkshire terrier!!!!!. We have one named Shane. Lots Of Love
Your Way

Thank you ... i shall try to follow your advice

My Yorkie is called Bob

Used to want to be the perfect mate to some pretty dysfunctional man. I had to dig deep down and find out the reasons behind choosing people like that. Sometimes doing "your best" is just not enough. I was one of those women who "love too much." Don't force issues, love yourself first. Respect is something we are all deserving of. If someone is not willing to give you that, it is probably something to consider. Best luck!

Sounds like whatever you do, its no win for you. This might mean you are trying too hard. Like the above advice, loving too much, or codependency, can keep us bound up in bad relationships because any relationship is better than being alone. We need someone to "love" us because we don't love or find value in ourselves as human beings. Is that you?