Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I started dating this guy a few months ago. He was great super sweet and loving, but has a temper and often will criticize me and how I look if I don’t wear a dress or skirt or “look preppy”. He says I can wear what I want but will complain about it if I do and then get upset when I get hurt bc of what he is saying. He often gets upset if I don’t answer the phone. Even if I text and say I can’t talk. He says I should pick up or call back and say I can’t talk. That would be respectful... what?
Back the the temper. He will get upset over the slightest thing.. and then scream and call me names (bitch, stupid bitch, fuck you, go fuck yourself, you name it). He will hit pillows, doors, his head and chest. Never me. Well twice now he has covered my mouth when he said I raised my voice. Bc he was scared the police would come. I have told him To stop, he apologizes and says he will stop and wants to change blah blah, but hasn’t. He will take the blame and make sure I know it and promise to change, but I have to help him and stop his anger.
Also, he got in a huge fight with his parents. They kicked him out at Xmas and haven’t talked to him since
this isn’t healthy, right?
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And I hope everyone is having a nice weekend.We're going to the Squatch Fest! (Bigfoot)
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So I have been having a lot of health issues and my cardiologist felt that he didn't get clear enough images of my heart in the office, so he wanted to do a Trans-esophegeal heart Echocardiocgram in the hospital. I was pretty nervous about it, because I've never had any procedures related to my heart or any other major organs. I've had knee surgery and thyroid surgery, but to me anything to do...
Even the business with the phone, and expecting you to pick up or respond immediately, every single time...this is controlling. And it's happening very, very early in your relationship. It will only get worse.
Putting his hand over your mouth is physical restraint. I think you should distance yourself and not try to "stay friends" or any of that B.S. that allows him to keep track of you.
I agree with everyone that he won't change. Be very careful.
Usually abusers are on their best behavior for at least 2.
What is stopping you from breaking off with him?
He sounds like a dangerous guy.
Protect your heart and have high standards for the type of treatment you will accept from a man. There are men who will be gentle and kind to you. It is time to think of a plan to escape. Your life is at risk. Men like this kill their girlfriends all the time, sometimes even on "accident". What if he shoves you, you slip, and your head smashes against a rock? Or you crash through a window? He is already laying his hands on you by covering your mouth. This WILL escalate into more extreme physical abuse almost without a doubt.
At the bare minimum, he is scarring you psychologically and that is never okay.
Please take care of yourself!! You deserve a peaceful, loving relationship.
https://list.ly/list/1ezh-finding-your-voice-and-healing-from-abuse
You want support because he had abused you enough to chip away at your belief in yourself. That is not love. A person that lives you will give you support so that you grow into yourself.
Get counseling urgently so that you can see just how rotten he is to you .
He is a monster