I remember your last post and I am sorry that you are in doubt again. It seems to me that in your relationship with your gf you never really seem to know what is really going on as your gf does not seem to want to share her thoughts or feelings with you. It almost sounds like when she gets angry she keeps it in and has a tendency to treat you in a way that I just do not find very nice at all.

The most I can tell you here for advice is that I really think you need to sit down and have a serious talk with her about what you both are feeling. You need to let her know how you feel and especially how she makes you feel. Let her know that it hurts you when she is not willing to open up and talk about what is bothering her

I do not know what her answers will be but the way I see it like I mentioned before you are focusing so much time trying to please and not to mention the constant worry you have that you disappointing her in some way or another that your life is revolving around her.

To me if she is upset about something you did or didn't do the mature thing would be to have a conversation about it and then you can both make compromises to make things better. I do not see that happening at all by the posts you have written. I see absolutely nothing wrong when you went have a conversation concerning a future business prospect.

Anyway I hope you can pluck up the courage here and really sit down and have that serious talk with her and find the answers so you know where this relationship is headed. I can certainly understand the fears you might have if she decides to end the relationship. However the way I see it now you are walking on eggshells and it almost seems like you are waiting and dreading that it will happen.

That is no way to live kiddo. I hope that you take some time to sort out things and really take a good long hard look at how you are being treated and hopefully see that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect because in my mind I think everyone deserves that much in any relationship. I hope that you find a much better road to happiness for the future:)

I agree with Katie that you should definitely try having a conversation with your girlfriend but you need to be very direct in how her behaviors are affecting you negatively... I know with me and my own boyfriend something similar may happen and I find myself getting pouty and short and not wanting to talk, and in my own head I feel like he should be able to figure out why I'm upset and solve the problem... This is a very immature way of thinking and it wasn't until he was like "OK, Kirstie, I'm not God. I can't just figure out what exactly you want at all times and make it happen... I need you to help me out and actually communicate with me what's going on in that crazy little head of yours". It wasn't until he actually said this that I really understood what he was talking about... For someone to understand exactly what you're thinking you will most likely need to tell them. I think this is a point you should try to illustrate with your girlfriend.... Tell her you care for her and that you want to make her happy but that this relationship needs to be two-sided and that she needs to be an equal participant for it to work. Don't sell yourself short and don't compromise on issues that may end up giving you the short end of the stick... Have firm boundaries with her and let her know you're serious (and how much you truly care for her) and hopefully she'll begin to understand.

Good luck!!! :-)

I appreciate the advice from both of you. The problem is I've tried having conversations with her. It seems whenever I have an issue and I try to state it, she gets defensive right away. I don't know why, I learned quite a few years ago about using "I" messages. Things like "I feel this way when you...". I try using that but it seems like she'd rather i shoulder the blame. We've been together for almost 8 months minus a week due to a break up we had in November.

In all honesty our fights started about a mutual friend breaking up with his girlfriend for another woman, I happened to be close to his girlfriend, as we were roommates, and it really started alot of drama without me wanting to step in between. For some reason she took it upon herself to make it seem like I was in the wrong for simply living in the house.

What i hate is that I had started to move on when she came to me about a week later saying she made a mistake and wanted me back. She went into full details about what i was worried about (if she was only doing this cause she was lonely, did she realize that she broke the trust and needed to help me rebuild). It did go well for a few weeks, but after that it feels like she stopped. A friend of mine told me that it's probably becuase she doesn't think I'm going anywhere anymore so she has me at her whim, which is mostly true. AS is apparent, I do try to please her and it's causing alot of stress on myself.

I'm going to see her today. I had already made a decision to talk to her about all of this and kinda put my foot down so to speak. I honestly have just grown tired of feeling like I'm to blame in alot of this.

Again thank you for your input, it is much appreciated and very helpful.

Go Benson!!! :-) I'm glad you are taking a stand for yourself, because in the end you are all you've got. I think that's a quote....

Anyway maybe if she cannot handle speaking to you that you could write her a letter and have her read it when you aren't there... She cannot stop you or get defensive, and the words on the letter are concrete. You cannot backtrack or try to make her feel better or jump to your own defense because well, you won't be there. Just try writing what you really feel and how horrible all of this is making you feel and that you really do want things to be good between you guys and that you are willing to try to compromise to make things work, but she must do the same. If you take the time to write it then you will have thought hard about what you are saying and she cannot interject in the middle of it. Katie is right, you are having to walk on eggshells around your gf and no matter how much you love or care for her, you need to take care of yourself. I am all for repairing relationships but if you say you had already started to move on after just one week of not being together then it might be time to sit down and really mull over all the good things the relationship is doing for you.... If the bad outweighs the good and stress has replaced happiness then it might be time to make some changes in your life that are in YOUR best interest. Best of luck talking to her today!! :-)

The conversation went pretty well. I told her everything I was feeling and she did try to jump to her own defense but i cut her off. We managed to work a few issues out, hopefully for good. Anyways, i made a resolution that this year I'm going to be much happier in my life and try to make the right decisions.

Good for you, sometimes sticking up for yourself and what you are feeling is a lot harder than it seems... Stick to your guns and make this year the beginning of a new lifestyle of boundaries and positivity. :-)

Forgive me...what'd I miss about those "issues"?