Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I’ve been with my husband for 5 years. Married for two but long distance up until 3 months ago. He’s from another country. We also have a 1 year old. Since he’s been here with me I’ve have done everything for him from driving him around, creating a resume and applying to jobs for him, to opening up bank accounts for him, to picking up after him. He finally gets a job and doesn’t want to give me money and I deserve it after paying for EVERYTHING in our relationship including bringing him to the US which was not easy. We agreed that I would work once or twice a week and take care of the baby while he works full time. He’s constantly rejecting my advances for sex and there’s no affection which makes me feel really insecure after gaining weight from the baby although he says it doesn’t bother him but he makes me feel invisible and unwanted. On top of that when he’s not working he’s on his phone talking to his friends and family from his country instead of being present and spending time with his wife and son. I have talked to him multiple times about these issues and literally sits there and says nothing only that he “doesn’t like to talk” or “he’s not going to argue with me like he’s a woman”. I have so much resentment and anger towards him bcause of all this and past infidelities and I even wonder if I’m still in love with him.
I have now downloaded dating apps just to get attention from other guys but there isnt much out there I see. I don’t want my son to grow up not being in a two parent household but at the same time I don’t want to live stressed and angry and sad every day. Should I continue trying to talk to my husband to resolve this or just let it go?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
Does he indicate why he feels he shouldn't be required to make a financial contribution to the family? Why were you the one to pay for EVERYTHING in the relationship?
To me, it seems as if you do try to ignore (or just let it go) it will just make the anger and resentment even more intense. If he refuses to open up and talk with you or to put some money into your family HERE. You deserve to be treated better. Hugs.
You do not have a loving, supportive husband - you have a mooch. Get rid of him. As for your child, you do not want him to have the mooch as his role model. It's far better for your child to have one, good stable parent.
What hurts the most is that he doesn’t acknowledge me, show affection, and is completely closed off when it comes to communication. Sometimes I feel like I have two kids instead of one. When I shut down and stop talking, that’s when he wants to notice me and do things like fold the laundry or ask me about my day. It’s nice but I don’t want to feel like I need to keep my mouth shut all the time to make husband occasionally do nice things that he should already be doing.
Read my previous post.
Stop complaining and do something.
This is who he is.
It's not going to get better.
Being ignored is awful and then when they suddenly try to be nice and actually do something (which, like you said, they should already be doing) it is supposed to make it all better.
Noone should have to walk on eggshells or watch what they say. (For me, that is when the resentment did build )
You are in my thoughts and prayers.