Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hi! I know I'm pretty young, and I'm very new to Daily Strength, but so far it seems like a great place to meet new people and get a lot of great advice.
I swim at this one pool, and it has turned more into my second home then just a swimming pool. There I met my very best friend. Him and I were always together, always inseparable. My mom always thought it was because i had a big crush on him, but i sincerely did not. I loved him as my best friend. I loved him because of who i became when i was around him, and for how happy we made each other. About two summers ago, i started to notice him. And i mean notice him! I watched the way he moved, the way he talked, and i knew that I was in love with my childhood best friend. Every summer we spend together gets better and better, until this past summer. He didn't go to the pool much, and he wouldn't talk to me either.
One rare night we were talking, and he confessed that he liked me this past summer. I told him exactly how i felt, which was that he grew up and left me behind. He poured his heart out to me, and i did the same to him. It was what i have been waiting for for two years. He was what i have been waiting for.
Now school started and i feel him pulling away again. We talk less and less, he isn't swimming for the school team, I can't be myself around him, and it is breaking my heart. I don't want to lose him. He is a part of me that i cannot lose. I'm scared that talking to him would be pointless and only start a fight, which might separate us for good. Should I talk to him?
I swim at this one pool, and it has turned more into my second home then just a swimming pool. There I met my very best friend. Him and I were always together, always inseparable. My mom always thought it was because i had a big crush on him, but i sincerely did not. I loved him as my best friend. I loved him because of who i became when i was around him, and for how happy we made each other. About two summers ago, i started to notice him. And i mean notice him! I watched the way he moved, the way he talked, and i knew that I was in love with my childhood best friend. Every summer we spend together gets better and better, until this past summer. He didn't go to the pool much, and he wouldn't talk to me either.
One rare night we were talking, and he confessed that he liked me this past summer. I told him exactly how i felt, which was that he grew up and left me behind. He poured his heart out to me, and i did the same to him. It was what i have been waiting for for two years. He was what i have been waiting for.
Now school started and i feel him pulling away again. We talk less and less, he isn't swimming for the school team, I can't be myself around him, and it is breaking my heart. I don't want to lose him. He is a part of me that i cannot lose. I'm scared that talking to him would be pointless and only start a fight, which might separate us for good. Should I talk to him?
Just accept his response whether good or bad. You can't change someone's feelings, but you can respect them. Hopefully he feels the same way and has been too shy to admit anything.
I had a similar situation with a friend of mine. I thought he didn't like me, so I began dating. Well as soon as I started dating my current boyfriend my friend confessed his true feelings for me, and how he regretted not speaking up sooner. I appreciated his honesty, but he knew I was in this relationship and respected that.
He ended up moving to Colorado, and now Georgia with a girl he met at school. I couldn't be happier for him.
In fact, we keep in touch, and when he is down he calls me so we can catch up.
It's nice knowing I at least have a friend in him, and he has the same in me- regardless of distance.
That is so good that you and your friend keep in touch still! It made me so happy to read! And it is really great that he respected that you were in a relationship. He sounds like a very nice friend.
thank you for your help!
Here's another suggestion:
Since you feel he is distancing himself, how about asking him to lunch/dinner/coffee (Whichever you prefer) and discussing this with him as a concerned friend. Let him know you are here for him, and he can confide in you. I think that will mean the world to him. Maybe there is an external factor going on in his life, or he has a big decision coming up. I know I would probably withdraw too.
That was just a thought... you don't have to heed my advice, but when I re-read your post, I started thinking it through again. :)