Hey Curly-
I guess it depends on your reasons for ending the relationship and whether or not they are reasons he can and is willing to change.

Maybe it would be better not to meet with him if you are afraid you won't hold your ground?

Or perhaps only talk for so long and then if you feel yourself slipping just say you need to get going?

Shine, this is the alcoholic in rehab I've posted about. Onetoomany, I am 4 hours away from him and he says I owe him a conversation on this at least. Even though I've tried breaking up with him 2 times before, but he or his mom talked me out of it each time. I know it is time to go on with my life.

Dear Curly,
Yes I remember your situation and to be honest I think it's the best thing for you to end it. Like I mentioned in my last post, just because you end it for now doesn't mean you can't come back to it when he is out of rehab and your chances of having a successful relationship are higher. I think he's still working on himself. He's still working on making himself better and healthier. He is on a journey at the moment that will require support, however if you can do it with boundaries and let him know you're there for him as a friend. If he contacts you just let him know you're looking forward to seeing him come to a healthier place in his life and you're there for him along the way.

In the end you deserve to be with someone who is stable. He has the potential, but is not quite there yet. Remember, you teach people how to treat you, if you set up boundaries now, he will respect you for it.

Good luck to you :)

Rosebud, he doesn't accept us as friends. He says "I know you love me." And yes I do. I need to totally separate myself and figure out if I can get a grip on who I really am and can I trust anyone down the road. I do think I will continue to write him however. If he doesn't write back, so be it. What do u think?

It doesn't matter what he does or does not "accept". It's okay to acknowledge that you love him, but just because you love him doesn't mean you should be in a relationship right now. Just tell him that this may only be a temporary break up as you feel he needs time to work on him. That his chances of having a relapse are higher if you stay together i.e. if you have a really bad fight and he turns to the bottle. And you care too much for him to take the chance of that happening. Tell him if he stays sober for a year and is in a good place at the end of the year you can discuss getting back together. maybe having a time line will make it easier for him to accept. BUT DO NOT WAIVER!

Yes I remember the situation, however at the time that you posted that (just a few days ago) you seemed very adamant about remaining in the relationship. What changed?

His behavior of not willing to accept the situation is part of what I had previously described regarding him finding himself in his sobriety, and learning who he is.
He is unwilling to accept a friendship (as he should be) RIGHT NOW, because hes feeling hurt.
After some time, and he is living a sober life, he may see differently and be willing to approach the situation from a different perspective.
I truly believe this is the best decision you can make for yourself.

good for you! you don't sound very weak to me. even doing it through a text was still a tough thing to do but you pulled it off.
stand strong by it. you'll be better off.

Continuing contact after an unhealthy relationship with someone you've only known for 4 months is simply keeping an unhealthy door open. When you make the commitment to break up,...going 'no contact' is the kindest, strongest thing to do for both of you.

Nobody can make you wish you didn't break up with them; either you made up your mind from a healthy place to break it off (because you love yourself ) and you know that after this short period of time you deserve better; or you don't.

If you get back with this guy simply because of a conversation, then please realize all that transpires from here on out - you - and you alone are accountable for. There are only so many Red Flags that we get and when we ignore them and play the game anyway; we should prepare to lose. (hug)

I wish you the best.

The only way to fight an idea...is with another idea. Have several reasons in your mind for why you wish to leave as verbal ammunition to counter his (and his mom's, as though she has anything to do with it) reasons for why he feels you should stay. Beyond that, you don't "owe" him anything, and if you're tired of discussing it, say "gotta go" and hang up the phone, free of guilt or remorse, once you've said your piece. If he can't accept your reasons, that's his problem, not yours.