Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
I have a best friend who means the world to me, I have known him for a really long time and weve been through our fair share of fights and breaks from the friendship, I have OCD/PTSD and anxiety and fear of abandonment issues due to past relationships and emotional abuse.
I dont .. I dont understand things about the way my mind works, I will get upset and scared and freak out at him if he doesnt respond to a message or a text or answer a call or hes busy for a couple of hours, I start to think all sorts of paranoid things like He must hate me, He must not want to be around me, He must have never wanted to be my friend anyway! The thing is, he has proven time and time again that this isnt the case and he has been sweet, kind and understanding of my issues, he has always forgiven me and came back even when I thought he was gone for good, But somehow between him reassuring me that he doesnt hate me and that everything is okay and my next freak out.. I forget every good thing he has done for me and all I can remember are the times in the past that I was abandoned and scared, I need constant reassurance or else Ill fear the worst
When we have our friendship breaks, I am often very rational and logical and NORMAL, I dont freak out about anything or anyone hating me, Im cool, calm and collected and this happens every time.. When he is gone I am fine, but when he comes back.. It all comes back to me that there is a possibility he will hate me/leave me/doesnt want to be my friend.
Whats wrong with me? And can I fix this?
I dont .. I dont understand things about the way my mind works, I will get upset and scared and freak out at him if he doesnt respond to a message or a text or answer a call or hes busy for a couple of hours, I start to think all sorts of paranoid things like He must hate me, He must not want to be around me, He must have never wanted to be my friend anyway! The thing is, he has proven time and time again that this isnt the case and he has been sweet, kind and understanding of my issues, he has always forgiven me and came back even when I thought he was gone for good, But somehow between him reassuring me that he doesnt hate me and that everything is okay and my next freak out.. I forget every good thing he has done for me and all I can remember are the times in the past that I was abandoned and scared, I need constant reassurance or else Ill fear the worst
When we have our friendship breaks, I am often very rational and logical and NORMAL, I dont freak out about anything or anyone hating me, Im cool, calm and collected and this happens every time.. When he is gone I am fine, but when he comes back.. It all comes back to me that there is a possibility he will hate me/leave me/doesnt want to be my friend.
Whats wrong with me? And can I fix this?
Can you get some therapy? and perhaps some meds?
I have OCD and I am on Celexa and it really helps.
I wish you good luck!
the fear of abandonment is a common one and stems from your peep rooted fears. It needs work for sure and posting on here is a great start.
Its brilliant you have the clarity to see this about yourself.