Well, you sit down with him and be completely honest about your feelings. It will be hard, but it is the right thing to do.

Don't get pressured into a marriage you are not ready for. Therein lies the seeds of disaster.

If he can't accept it and wants to break up, it might be hard for a while but it will be less hard later on down the road if you face a divorce.

As to waiting until you have enough money for a "nice" wedding, I am a guy so I don't really see the point of spending lots of money on a wedding. My wedding (20 years ago) cost less than $500. It was at a church, she had a wedding dress and was beautiful, flowers all over, I was in a suit and at least not ugly. About thirty people attended and there was a reception afterward, etc.

It had all of the elements, without putting us into debt. It took creativity to keep it inexpensive, but neither of us regretted it.

And now that I am divorced, I am even more thankful we kept it inexpensive. :-D

I got married when I was 20, I was very apprehensive at the time and only did it because I felt that was the next step and had people telling me that was what I needed to do. Needless to say 4 years later I was divorced. Now that I'm alittle older I look back and think to how crazy it was. I was too young, I didn't know myself, I hadn't finished learning who I was. If your having any concerns at this point I would suggest to wait. Your only 21, you still have alot to learn about yourself, not to mention your partner.

About the financial situation, thats another problem in itself. Money only get tighter once you are married. And finances are the biggest factor in arguments among couples.

But honestly I don't think the financial factor is what is holding you back. I think you realize that your not ready and you are using it as an excuse. You have dated him since you were 14. Have you dated other people? Are you completely 100% happy with your relationship? You shouldn't go into a marriage hoping that some things will change.

There is no rush to get married. What will it really change at this point?
Having a wedding that you will remember for the rest of your life is important. I don't mean some lavish event, but something you both can agree on and enjoy that day with good food and people you want to be there.
There is nothing wrong with waiting. Just tell him that you would like to wait and save money.
Maybe the reason why you are getting cold feet is because you are seeing things you don't like or maybe some opinions you ve gotten about him in the past are hitting home?
Make sure he is the one. Getting married is easy but undoing what was done is so very painful, especially when there are kids involved.
Best wishes.

You say in your "about me" that your number one priority is your faith. Does that have a role in you feeling pressured to get married?

Hi Babbitt, You sound exactly like me with my X fiance. Please take a moment and think about what your about to do - please use your head when it comes to relationships. Not everyone is saying getting married is what you need to do. I would have been divoraced by now (I was with him at 38 and now Im 45) if I married my x fiance (Im 100% sure of it) let alone if we had children. I would have relocated to the state of Delaware. What a mess that would have been! Talk to a trusted relative or friend. 21 is awfully young to get married. I had this very same problem at 38! I talked to my closest cousin, sobbing to her in the restaurant after bridesmaid shopping. I knew I needed to break it off. $$ and expenses are a huge factor (that was just the tip of everything - there was other issues). Is he working or does he have income to help with the expenses of a wedding? My X fiance did not and it caused a huge strain on everything. If you really care about him, sit down with him and talk about it. I wasn't able to talk to my x fiance about anything because he would always talk me into staying in the relationship. I had to break it off over the phone - he was 425 miles away from me in the state of Delaware. Wanted to have his father/step mother send him $$ so he can fly down and talk some "sense into me". He even tactfully sent a dozen roses to work. On a better note - Don't set a date yet, perhaps putting it off 3-4 years might be better for you and him. This will give you guys a chance to grow and become more established in life.

Don't hurry. Take some time and realize what your really want. You might like being with him, but so you want to get married right now? If your answer is yes, then maybe its just the finances. If you hesitate, think about it, talk to your fiance, tell him your fears try to make him understand that you need little more time to say "I do". I got married when i was 24 and got divorced a year later. I hurried into the marriage. I am 27 now. Take time to know yourself first.

Come on down to Fort Lauderdale! Celebrations Wedding Chapel has several cheap specials. I'm a videographer. I might just fit into your budget lol.

This recession DOES suck. Maybe this recession is God's way of telling you to take it slow before you tie that knot (y'ever think about that?).

Thanks everyone. I really want to marry him, I just don't feel ready to BE married, if that makes any sense. But I do agree that I should wait until we can at least figure out the finances before setting a date. Hopefully he will understand that.

Oh wait. You will regret not having a nice ceremony. I did not have a big wedding. I did not have a wedding gown. It was small and what we received as presents paid for the reception. For the first 10 or more years, I regretted not edoing more. Because as life passes, really how many big events do we have in our lives. Marriage, a baby-maybe, graduation, and that is it. Now after twenty years the wedding is a good story and I am ok with it.
I am not saying go in debt for a wedding or take out a loan, but do something special. Do whatever you can to create money just for a wedding.