By your description of your b/f's behavior it indicates to me he has a drinking problem and probably has had one for a very long time. You expressed in your post that you are wondering how this will effect your relationship together, well it already has because even though you said he treats you well you don't sound very happy to me by his behavior.

In my opinion things will not get any better until he realizes that drinking so much that you can't even remember what you did the night before is a big problem and an addiction. The question is do you wish to try and work things out with him and encourage him to stop? You also have to consider that he may never admit he has a problem and might refuse to listen or get any help.

In all aspects you have to seriously consider what you want in your future. Everyone can tell you what they would or would not do in this situation but ultimately this is your life and your future and you will have to decide what is the best thing to do for yourself.

The one thing I can say is because of your past history with your ex you already know what life is like in terms of being reclusive and in some aspects you are repeating that same history. The reason I say this was because of the comment you made about the feelings you have about your b/f wanting to go out more for himself rather then just spending time and having fun with you.

That might be a warning sign. Anyway I think you pretty much have established the fact he drinks way too much and you are not comfortable with that so now it is time to weigh your options by figuring out the pros and cons of this relationship. I would only say to you that life is short and you deserve the very best now and in your future. Hoping that you make the decision you feel comfortable and happy with. Best wishes to you:)

His drinking will most definitely affect your relationship! If he can't remember what he did the night before, who knows what barfly or club-hopper he might've hooked up with in the parking lot if you're not with him one night! And you haven't yet seen the Hyde in his Jekyl-and-Hyde personality. There's a funny side to drunkenness...and then a dark side, where the beast emerges. You might just catch him in a dark mood some night.

If you're not into that life and he is, you've got to let him go...or be casual and don't get too serious with this man.

It might not be that going out is more imprtant but drinking is more important to him. Sounds to me like he could be an alchoholic. Even though he treats you good I don't know if I would want to be with someone who can't remember what they did last night. If he craves attention then one night if you are not there he might end up gettin attention from someone else and not even remember it. Please just be careful
There are many fish in that big old ocean out there. I am aa recovering alcholic and it runs very deep in my family line. My mom almost died due to her drinking. Honestly I do not know how my husband back then bf put up with me. When I see people dog drunk doing what I use to do it hurts me to know that I put him through all of that. Just remeber you are the important one here. Only you knows if you want this kind of relationship but again please be careful.

Do you want to date a drunk or not? People have different tolerance levels for that sort of thing. You have to decide if his drinking habits are a fit for your life.

PLS GET SOME HELP FOR YOURSELF. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF YOU DESERVE A RELTIONSHIP WHERE YOU FEEL LOVED AND RESPECTED IN EVERY WAY

so you just got out of a 20 year marriage that was abusive and the man you date now is alcoholic ? jekyl / hyde (which you have yet to see full force). I say take care of yourself and step back from the relationship and get involved in a relationship with yourself. After 20 years of abuse that is the first thing to do. Not date an alcoholic. Take care of YOU.

As the 1st person after a marriage he is mearly meant to be a stepping stone on your journey. Don't make the mistake of putting all of your eggs into his basket. he has a habit that was there before and will be there without you. You don't sound compatable to me. You may need to begin putting space between the two of you. A drunk who doesn't remember their actions the next day scares me a lot.

There are already some great posts in reply to you.

All I can add is that you apparently have great insight and instincts. Listen carefully and do what's right for YOU.

Imagine giving this all some real thought, then you decided to stay in this relationship. All the red flags you've been getting then become the real deal of abuse, drunken black outs, etc., ...then you are also accountable for allowing all this to happen to you :O/

Hope you take some time and make the right decision. The right thing to do is always the most difficult, but in harmony..the end results is always worth it.