Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
... my biyfriend watching porn.
There was time, not so long ago, when watching porn was some thing we enjoyed doing together. Some time's, we'd tell each other about the movies we watched on our own, and that could be equally hot. In our "vanilla" relationship, it was downright kinky! But things tapered off and we did it less and less - and that's ok. There lots of other things we can do to set the mood.
But last night I got home, sat next to my man and flipped through the recordings menu, and found that the bf had rented a x-rated movie. And that he had saved another short film featuring the same porn star.
It made me SO MAD. I didn't confront him or demand answers. I just kept all in. I mean, it's not like I'm concerned he's going to run out and find this porn start, let alone land her.
I think it's because I'm on the curvier side of things. My bf tells me all the time he loves my body, he thinks I'm gorgeous. So, why has he become smitten with a woman who has the body of a 12 y/o boy? Would he rather have a twig? And rather than telling me, he feels it better to beat off to a twig by him self while I'm at work?
(I should also say that talking to my bf about wwhat he's thinking is next to impossible: when I try to discuss things like this, he just shuts down. That's why I need help understanding)
There was time, not so long ago, when watching porn was some thing we enjoyed doing together. Some time's, we'd tell each other about the movies we watched on our own, and that could be equally hot. In our "vanilla" relationship, it was downright kinky! But things tapered off and we did it less and less - and that's ok. There lots of other things we can do to set the mood.
But last night I got home, sat next to my man and flipped through the recordings menu, and found that the bf had rented a x-rated movie. And that he had saved another short film featuring the same porn star.
It made me SO MAD. I didn't confront him or demand answers. I just kept all in. I mean, it's not like I'm concerned he's going to run out and find this porn start, let alone land her.
I think it's because I'm on the curvier side of things. My bf tells me all the time he loves my body, he thinks I'm gorgeous. So, why has he become smitten with a woman who has the body of a 12 y/o boy? Would he rather have a twig? And rather than telling me, he feels it better to beat off to a twig by him self while I'm at work?
(I should also say that talking to my bf about wwhat he's thinking is next to impossible: when I try to discuss things like this, he just shuts down. That's why I need help understanding)
And if you don't want a man's point of view, you can stop reading now.
But if you do want another perspective, it might help to consider that for most men, porn provides an exciting fantasy, but it is not what they actually want in their lives. He may like to look at a porn star, but what he wants is you. You're the one he wants to talk to and share his secrets with and live his life with and have real sex with. She's just an image on a screen.