Healthy Relationships Support Group
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Hello, this is my second post here and it is somehow connected to
the previous one. Me and my partner have been through some issues lately, as some of you have read, but we didn't give up and we managed to make peace. We reached to a situation in which we were fighting daily, and I fell into a depression in which my self esteem was incredibly low and I simply wanted to disappear .
So, we realised that we either break up or take a leap of faith and believe in eachother. He promised to stop torturing me with his distrust and accusations and I promised I will be calm and try to be myself again.
Problem is that, this is not happening. We are getting along well in the last couple of weeks. No fighting and everything seems good on the surface. We are affectionate to eachother, make time for ourselves, sex life is good, all good. Problem is, I don't know what I feel anymore. I really don't know and I have taken time for myself, meditated, prayed and asked myself questions. I still don't know if I love him anymore.
I feel so deeply hurt by everything he has done and the way he questioned me and my reasons for being with him, and even though I appreciate his kindness and cannot think about him being with another woman I think about breaking up with him.
I do still want him sexually, I do like him, I do enjoy his company but part of me is really hurt and I am afraid that his insecurities will appear again on a later stage in life and make me feel so miserable again. I wonder if is better for me to find someone who wouldn't hurt me this badly, or stay alone.
Another problem is, all the plans we make they simply don't bring me joy anymore. We talk about raising money and buy motorcycles to go and ride away and I simply agree. But deep down I don't think that will actually happen. I don't dare to dream again because I think something will prevent this from happening and be heartbroken again.
I am overall afraid that this peace and quiet state of our relationship is not real and sadness will return.
Simply put I really don't know if I still love him and am attracted to him. And I don't know how to discover. If someone has been through something similar and has some ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance
the previous one. Me and my partner have been through some issues lately, as some of you have read, but we didn't give up and we managed to make peace. We reached to a situation in which we were fighting daily, and I fell into a depression in which my self esteem was incredibly low and I simply wanted to disappear .
So, we realised that we either break up or take a leap of faith and believe in eachother. He promised to stop torturing me with his distrust and accusations and I promised I will be calm and try to be myself again.
Problem is that, this is not happening. We are getting along well in the last couple of weeks. No fighting and everything seems good on the surface. We are affectionate to eachother, make time for ourselves, sex life is good, all good. Problem is, I don't know what I feel anymore. I really don't know and I have taken time for myself, meditated, prayed and asked myself questions. I still don't know if I love him anymore.
I feel so deeply hurt by everything he has done and the way he questioned me and my reasons for being with him, and even though I appreciate his kindness and cannot think about him being with another woman I think about breaking up with him.
I do still want him sexually, I do like him, I do enjoy his company but part of me is really hurt and I am afraid that his insecurities will appear again on a later stage in life and make me feel so miserable again. I wonder if is better for me to find someone who wouldn't hurt me this badly, or stay alone.
Another problem is, all the plans we make they simply don't bring me joy anymore. We talk about raising money and buy motorcycles to go and ride away and I simply agree. But deep down I don't think that will actually happen. I don't dare to dream again because I think something will prevent this from happening and be heartbroken again.
I am overall afraid that this peace and quiet state of our relationship is not real and sadness will return.
Simply put I really don't know if I still love him and am attracted to him. And I don't know how to discover. If someone has been through something similar and has some ideas will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance
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Which explains the mysterious fevers and my extra fatigue. I'm so glad I pushed for answers.
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Due to my increased paranoia, anxiety, and a panic attack over the weekend, my psychiatrist has put me back in a full dose of Zyprexa until further notice. Every time I think I'm getting ahead something happens and it's back to square one. I knew he was gonna do this but I can't help feeling disappointed. It is what it is.
( Isorry for the grammar mistake I tried to edit the post)
I think it can be normal to go thru periods of not being "in love" in a very long term relationship.
What about getting some counseling? Together and separately?
I need to go and read your other post because I don't remember it.
You have only been together a year. Not that long.
And keep in mind, even if you come to the conclusion that you are not in love with him anymore, that is perfectly okay. You don't need to feel guilty or like you have to stay. Embrace your feelings and listen to your intuition.