Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
Right now, I am so hurt, angry , confused......just flooded with emotions and I dont even know what to do....
Last Thurs. my sister and I got into a huge fight.....she got physical with me.....I have let her and her two kids move in with me because she was with an abusive man and need to get away from him....I was so happy to see her leaving him and loved having them UNTIL, she started seeing him again and even letting him back into the lives of my nieces...only 9 and 10....this was 2 and half months ago and I have tried to understand that she is addicted to him or whatever....
There is a lot of other stuff going too, to much to get into....
She wrote me a letter and left it on my car tonight continuing to get her two cents in, about all that she has done for me ect.......I just dont know what to...do i write her a letter back stating how I feel and make her as angry as she made me tonight or just keep it all in for the sake of my nieces?
Its so hard to be the strong one!!! Oh and she also ran to our cousin....my bestfriend and told her everything she thought of me and all that happened that night.....I was not going to take this to the family but SHE DID, how can I ever again trust someone like her!!!!!! My cousin knows she is full of it....she is the one still with an abusive man....ect.
I may have my faults but I DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!!!!
But I have to face her tomorrow and not sure how I am going to cope, what I am going to say??????
I am glad to have my nieces back in a safe place but she has all the control to take them away again.....I hate this and really wish I could tell her how I felt....I cant, she cant handle it!!!!!!
Last Thurs. my sister and I got into a huge fight.....she got physical with me.....I have let her and her two kids move in with me because she was with an abusive man and need to get away from him....I was so happy to see her leaving him and loved having them UNTIL, she started seeing him again and even letting him back into the lives of my nieces...only 9 and 10....this was 2 and half months ago and I have tried to understand that she is addicted to him or whatever....
There is a lot of other stuff going too, to much to get into....
She wrote me a letter and left it on my car tonight continuing to get her two cents in, about all that she has done for me ect.......I just dont know what to...do i write her a letter back stating how I feel and make her as angry as she made me tonight or just keep it all in for the sake of my nieces?
Its so hard to be the strong one!!! Oh and she also ran to our cousin....my bestfriend and told her everything she thought of me and all that happened that night.....I was not going to take this to the family but SHE DID, how can I ever again trust someone like her!!!!!! My cousin knows she is full of it....she is the one still with an abusive man....ect.
I may have my faults but I DO NOT HAVE KIDS!!!!!!
But I have to face her tomorrow and not sure how I am going to cope, what I am going to say??????
I am glad to have my nieces back in a safe place but she has all the control to take them away again.....I hate this and really wish I could tell her how I felt....I cant, she cant handle it!!!!!!
I wish I could help you, but it sounds like you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, so it's a matter of deciding on the lesser of the two evils, which it seems is continuing to deal with your sister's indisgressions for the sake of keeping those lovely children safe. But it's your decision...
Telling your sister how you feel about her relationship with this man could make her more determined to stay with him so for now just let your nieces know that you're there for them. One person providing love & stability can make the world of difference to kids.
Hang in there!
That said, you should make it clear to her that the next time she gets out of hand, you'll be calling the police. Your sister's apparently picked up some of his bad habits, huh?
Don't write any letters, if she wants to talk, make it face to face. She needs to be reminded that siblings help each other because it's kinda their "job"... but it's not mandatory. She should remember who's house she's in, too! For now, just try to keep the peace, but don't back down if she gets ugly. Don't let her use the bullying techniques he's taught her.
I agree that you should try and stay strong for your neices. Be the voice of reason for them since their mother cannot. It's vital that they know someone's in their corner!!!