There are several articles on the internet about empathy over drive, and how it can actually be a manifestation of low self esteem, codependency, etc. Here's one overview of where it can adversely affect you and how to keep it in check.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com

Empathy is a wonderful quality. But I do think it can prevent healthy relationships, with family, friends and partners if it makes you shut down or become too involved in people's issues. Up until my early teens, I was hyper sensitive about everything and everyone, which made me a very anxious and worried person to the point of making myself sick. I had a screwed up upbringing like a lot of people so I suspect it's all somewhat related.

As I got older I think I just started to develop coping skills and how to set emotional boundaries. I still have times where stuff that happens in the world feels like it's crushing me but I know how to inject rational thought into the equation. If I didn't, sheesh, I adopt every dog at the shelter, donate both my kidneys to complete strangers and hand out $100 dollar bills to every homeless person who asks me for money. Sometimes you just have to pull back, out of self preservation.

You are an empath.

So am I, however I think yours is stronger than mine.

Thanks #rmb. I can't disagree with you.
#OTM I don't think there's anything wrong with having empathy for others but my overwhelming empathy has caused me to do some things I'm not proud of. I'm not talking morally. I'm talking financially.

I can't help but be a little proud of my intention but ashamed of who I donated money to. People who were just trying to take advantage of me.
I think my extreme empathetic nature comes from my mother.
I think it's was learned. If it's a mental illness, I'd call it ( The Savior Complex. )
I used to just think it was just being a good person but now I think there's more to it than that.
I don't want to completely change my nature but tone it down.
I need to desensitize a little.

Big hug for you Drew... It sounds like you might be talking about martyrdom??... when you say saviour complex?

Healthy empathy is great... Unhealthy empathy won't help you or anyone else... xo

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2012/09/too-much-empathy/

Thanks SunCloud for posting the article link. That's what I was trying to do and it didn't quite work out.

Drew I think you have a lot of self awareness and that's a good thing! Just find the balance.

Suncloud, Rmb. I checked out the link and I'm kinda amazed how this article is describing my my feelings and the reasons why I'm feeling this way.
I'm sure you read the article so I won't go into detail.
I fit 3 of the examples of empathy overdrive

Codependency, enabling, and People-Pleasing.

I am codependent and have had several bad relationships. I do have a unhealthy addiction to sex, love, and relationships. I think I fear loosing the ones I love because I've lost so many loved ones.

I am an enabler. When I was married I provided my wife with the unhealthy diet that eventually killed her. That was her addiction and I perpetuated it.
I lent money, provided food, and made excuses for people's bad deeds.

I'm a people pleaser.

I have always feared being alone. I do what ever I can to please people because I fear I'm not enough.
I've actually talked with my therapist about some of this but never made a full connection why I'm like this.
I guess it mostly boils down to low self esteem and lack of self worth.
I'm going to talk with my therapist

Yes, I too find myself getting sucked in to other people's emotions, and those emotions are almost always inevitably NEGATIVE, sadness, sickness and anger. When this happens, I have to take a step back, and THINK, using pure logic, and form a technical standard, some logical construct, of who I am, who I want to be, where my own happiness resides, sort of a cool, serene tranquility, and let my mind, heart and soul form a disconnect from those other people. Oh sure, I'll still sit and listen to them bitch, express theit anger, hurt, fears and worries, but that doesn't mean I have to REACT in any way whatsoever, except for calm agreement, acknowledgement that they are correct in feeling the way they feel. This makes their emotional state all about them. I do not have to feel the same way and I can keep my own feelings to myself, keep them my private business.

I've been someone else for so many people it's hard to discover who I am. I have no passion in my life except caring for my father. I feel very depressed a lot. It's really hard for me to find a purpose in life.
I'm not passionate about caring for other people. I do it because he's my dad. I was a care giver for my late wife as well. I'm tired of watching loved ones withering away.
I know I'm going to find a passion for something else. I just don't know what that will be.

Drew, from everything you described you sound like an empath!!! I would do some research into it because empath's cannot control how empathic they are (people talking about unhealthy empathy), but there are ways to shield yourself and block energy coming in from other people. I also experience this empathic ability and sometimes cannot distinguish between my feelings and other peoples. You are spiritually gifted!!

http://themindunleashed.org/2013/10/30-traits-of-empath.html

Yes, extreme empathy towars others is normal. Around 20% of the population are Highly Sensitive People who have heightened neurological sensitivity. You are probably one of them.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/278589.php

Also, research term Highly Sensitive Person, or HSP, more thoroughly, but I'm willing to bed it will apply to you. Dr. Elaine Aron is the name behind the scientific research.

Extreme empathy may be normal but I'm tired of it affecting my whole life. I don't have a problem with being kind to people but loosing my since of self importance, allowing myself to be put in sticky situations has not improved my quality of life.
I need to learn how to say no and not feel guilty about it. I need to have a life that consists of my own dreams and not others.
I'm tired of being the noble supporter, the do gooder, the one people can take advantage of with ease.
I have my own life and my own worries. I'm actually getting sick to my stomach with guilt just typing this.
I want to know it's OK not to he there for everyone all the time.

It is absolutely ok to not be there for everyone all the time. Start creating small boundaries, nothing crazy but just start small. Get comfortable doing that and build from there. It is not healthy to get ensconced in the drama of everyone else's life. It's emotionally taxing, mentally exhausting and sucks the life right out of you. You are wise to see this about yourself, Drew.

Yes, I know, we care for our parents, even when we don't feel like it, not out of passion, but out of DUTY, because they're our parents, and they gave us life (only to suck the life from us, in their later years, when their own lives are dwindling).

Hang out with some YOUNGER people, Drew, just to give your life some balance and some perspective. Younger people problems are usually about sex and money, which can be a welcome release from older people problems, which are inevitably about dwindling health and no desire to live.

Even if hanging out with younger people is only a few hours a week. Maybe volunteer to help with some little kids. They're so hyper, their energy might recharge your batteries. Just don't physically touch any of them, except in a brief hug, lest a man get branded, sometimes falsely, a pedophile.