if he's not showing any signs of regret for not marrying her then i don't understand why you feel you need to hold on to something that is in the past.
you must have some insecurity about your husband's love for you. i'd work on fixing that.

"what if's" are destructive. don't push away a good relationship by conjuring up issues that don't exist.

We all have a past and you can't change that. I wonder why you are consumed with something that they both have moved on from. Are you doubting the relationship and now thinking of the "what ifs" to sabotage things. You had a history before he met you. He wants you and if he doesn't give you signs that he isn't into you then you have to let the fear go as it will destroy your relationship if you let it.

Best thing is to talk to him and share your fears and then if he doesn't give you a reason for you to not trust him then you have to let it go. If it's not this then what else will you focus on. You get to choose.

Thank you all. I really appreciate your support. I do want to let it go. He is really into me and cares for me a lot. Do you think therapy will help? I have never had therapy I don't know what happens there. Will that help?

if YOU think it will help, then inquire about it.

it's possible that a therapist can help you understand why you are having these issues.
my guess is that there may be other events/situations in your life (past or present) that contribute to your thinking process.

eckhart tolle writes in his books about living in the present moment.
maybe you should work on redirecting your thinking in this way.

Yes, an outside resource will help you. You can look at the reasons why you are doubting this relationship and your own insecurities. You can speak with someone who doesn't have a a vested interest in you like your friends having a biased opinion. Check into it and work on this for you. The very thing you fear in your relationship of him leaving you could happen if you choose to focus on this and let it consume you. Best to you!

I am wondering if part of the problem is that you have feelings of guilt? He was in a relationship, engaged to be married and he left her for you. It might be that you feel some guilt that your happiness comes at the expense of someone else, it also sounds like you are feeling some jealousy although I am not sure why you would, maybe a part of you is actually worried that he will leave you for another woman or even for the woman he was engaged to? If he left her for you, it's bound to leave doubt in your mind that he just might do the same thing to you. It might be a good idea to see a counsellor and help you work through these feelings you are having.

good points, Lianna!

Thank Lianna, I think your words are trying to explain all the feelings i have, but I never knew what they were. I guess I do feel guilty, but he decided to be with me. I asked him to chose between us both and he chose me, I dint force. I said if you chose her, then our relation is going to end and we go our ways. And he wanted to be with me. Yes i know the other gal was hurt deeply, and i do feel sorry for her. He is quite religious and traditional, and does not believe in divorce. So he is not going to leave me, and I know he truly loves me and is crazy about me. But once I happen to see a few of the letter she wrote to him when they were still engaged, and what she wrote in those letters are imprinted in my head. She has clearly moved on, and is with another guy now. But I feel horrible just with the thought of imagining how another woman felt about my husband in the past. Maybe i am jealous. I think that he was with another woman and she was engaged to him, and she had deep feelings and desires. I imagine him being with her and that makes me upset and depressed and horrible. And I withdraw from him and don't talk to him. There is nothing in the present which makes me doubt our relationship. But why is it hard for me to forget something which i wasn't even a part of?

I really appreciate all you people listening to me.

First, put a higher power at the center of your life; call it God or whatever you will, then trust in that power to always, always, always be there for you and guide you in the right direction. Put God first.

Then, love your fiance/soon-to-be-husband. If you are doing YOUR part, fully loving HIM, and he loves YOU, then you have no reason to worry. I hear a lot of "he loves me" etc. in your posts. Do you love HIM? Or are you fixated on the fact that someone else loved him before you, and you can't handle competition?