Healthy Relationships Support Group

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How do I be a better man

CuddlyPanda
CuddlyPanda
I love her I really do
But everytime things get better I seem to fuck it up
I just can't seem to get nothing right. Like tonight we had 3 different fights. It tears me up when we do but I cant seem to keep from it.
I just love her and I tell her that but somehow I don't show it enough.
How is it that I do my best but it doesnt seem like my best is enough????????
How much is best and how much is enough?
I just dont get it anymore
I just need Help
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi it depends what yous are arguing about.is it the same thing all the time.hope you sort things soon.
CuddlyPanda
CuddlyPanda
Its mostly the same thing all the time. She doesnt believe I love her but I really do....
deleted_user
deleted_user
she s probably very insecure.me and my x argued bout the same thing all the time.and because he wouldnt talk about it he d walk away.it split us up.i no its hard.keep talking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You might want to try couples counceling to get a nuetral view on the situation. It sounds like you both need to do something. She needs to let her insecurities go and trust you if you have not given her reason not to. You need to find out what she really needs as far as attention and what would make her feel the feelings you have for her. Maybe it is just a lack of communication. Good Luck
koolman
koolman
Her level of needing affection is higher than yours. Your best is not "good enough" for her, and never will be, so it might be time to bail...
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with the couples counseling...my fiance and i had some issues that we were completely on different pages about 100% and it helped a lot to talk to other professionals about it.

Good luck...
krm
krm
Hey man it's not all your fuck ups. You start blaming yourself for everthing and you are going to be in big trouble. It's not all your fault, it takes 2 to tango.
deleted_user
deleted_user
If your truly are doing your best, and it's not enough for her, then I agree on the counseling bit. Some input/feedback/suggestions from an outside professional source could really help both of you. One other thing to possibly ask yourself: are you trying to hard? See if you can be easier on yourself. I hope you both can find some peace with each other. If you love her and you're having to prove it somehow, my guess would be that SHE needs help as well.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow "how do i be a beeter man?" girls everywhere are swooning at the mere fact that want to know that. sometimes women, like myself in the past. get really needy, i am not sure as look back and see that but it happends. honestly, there was nothing that guy could have done to make it better-maybe you two should take some time apart, to let her realize how much life sucks without you. time heals everything, if my guy would have shown me some tough love, i would have reaLIZed early on how important he was to me. of course we didnt work out because we never took a step back. i miss him but he taught some very important lessons abouyt life-never take the person you care about for granted.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow "how do i be a beeter man?" girls everywhere are swooning at the mere fact that want to know that. sometimes women, like myself in the past. get really needy, i am not sure as look back and see that but it happends. honestly, there was nothing that guy could have done to make it better-maybe you two should take some time apart, to let her realize how much life sucks without you. time heals everything, if my guy would have shown me some tough love, i would have reaLIZed early on how important he was to me. of course we didnt work out because we never took a step back. i miss him but he taught some very important lessons abouyt life-never take the person you care about for granted.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow "how do i be a beeter man?" girls everywhere are swooning at the mere fact that want to know that. sometimes women, like myself in the past. get really needy, i am not sure as look back and see that but it happends. honestly, there was nothing that guy could have done to make it better-maybe you two should take some time apart, to let her realize how much life sucks without you. time heals everything, if my guy would have shown me some tough love, i would have reaLIZed early on how important he was to me. of course we didnt work out because we never took a step back. i miss him but he taught some very important lessons abouyt life-never take the person you care about for granted.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow "how do i be a beeter man?" girls everywhere are swooning at the mere fact that want to know that. sometimes women, like myself in the past. get really needy, i am not sure as look back and see that but it happends. honestly, there was nothing that guy could have done to make it better-maybe you two should take some time apart, to let her realize how much life sucks without you. time heals everything, if my guy would have shown me some tough love, i would have reaLIZed early on how important he was to me. of course we didnt work out because we never took a step back. i miss him but he taught some very important lessons abouyt life-never take the person you care about for granted.
deleted_user
deleted_user
wow "how do i be a beeter man?" girls everywhere are swooning at the mere fact that want to know that. sometimes women, like myself in the past. get really needy, i am not sure as look back and see that but it happends. honestly, there was nothing that guy could have done to make it better-maybe you two should take some time apart, to let her realize how much life sucks without you. time heals everything, if my guy would have shown me some tough love, i would have reaLIZed early on how important he was to me. of course we didnt work out because we never took a step back. i miss him but he taught some very important lessons abouyt life-never take the person you care about for granted.
koolman
koolman
All you can do is be the most YOU CAN BE. If that's not good enough for her (hearts get greedy), then it never will be, and better to split up and be the most you can be with someone who is satisfied with that. Eventually, the right physical/emotional gel will click.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow, it sounds like a real lack of good communication skills. It definitely takes time to learn how to listen to one another and get what
each others needs are. I disagree with bailing out. I think that it would be important to think about how you both feel towards one another and if you do love one another than its worth working on getting a clear understanding of each of your needs. Then work on fullfilling them. It's also important to learn to love unconditionally. This takes much time and sacrifice but it is so worth it in the long run. I think sacrificial is much more satisfying than superficial. If she truly loves you she will be willing to work towards being the best for you as well. It's definitely not right for only one person to be the one to sacrifice thats for sure. I hope it works out for you: )