Hi all, new here... I have been married for 15 years but for the last 18 months or so, my husband seems absent... we still talk and he does do stuff with me, but there is no intimacy between us. We built a new house about 2.5 years ago, and since then, he works on house stuff almost every afternoon, plays computer games when not working on the house and now he even says he wants to forgo the only time we really get together, sit to watch television of an afternoon, to do more 'meaningful' things like work on personal projects, get tax done... stuff that doesn't really involve me. Even when he comes to bed, it is usually when I am almost asleep or I have fallen asleep and he always gets up before me, or minutes after I wake up. 

Sometimes, I manage to drag him out to do things with me, which I always plan, but it's usually everyday stuff... go to the shop for something we need, maybe to visit someone... Sometimes, I may be able to convince him on a date night, but I can tell he is not jumping out of his skin to do it. He also hardly ever wants to have sex. Maybe once a month if I am lucky, and it is usually me who initiates it.

the other day I caught him looking at another, much younger, woman when we were out to lunch with my family... He actually couldn't get his eyes off her.

I know I am not as attractive as I used to be, I have put on weight and haven't cared for myself the way I used to. I have battled with depression as we were unable to have children (I had two miscarriages). I just can't help but feel that this is all my fault.

I don't know what to do any more, please help me!