Healthy Relationships Support Group

No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.

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worriedandconfused80 02/02/2018

Hi, I'm new to this support group and would like to know if anyone has suffered from or might still be trying to rid themselves of retroactive jealousy? I would appreciate any tips or advice on this matter as I feel it's taking over my life... thanks in advance

Cora_Belle 02/02/2018

What is retroactive jealousy?

worriedandconfused80 02/02/2018

It's being jealous of a partners past sexual and romantic experiences. It's very complicated and I've no idea why I'm feeling like this, I just know that I'd do anything for it to go away.

sjs777 02/02/2018

its tough to hear, but jealousy is rarely viewed as a positive emotion by the one you're jealous of when it comes to relationships. I suggest looking inward to accept their past if it was before you met. Failure to do so will allow it to linger and cause damage to your relationship

Ghostwolf04 02/02/2018

Maybe try looking at it this way. At least your partner is open with you and talks about his or her past. That means he or she isn't afraid of you judging him. He trusts you so trust him that he is with you now and committing to you. Let the past go and keep up open communication. Ask him what he likes about your relationship, what he likes in bed, what he wishes was better about himself. Then you share your feelings about yourself and maybe things you would like to improve on or try. Typically, I feel jealous of someone because they are good at something I am not, usually sexually. I hope this helps.

Gutted 02/02/2018

You sound like a very insecure person. I would suggest that you see a counselor. This issue will just keep manifesting itself over and over in different ways until you deal with it.

worriedandconfused80 02/05/2018

@gutted
Yes I am a bit insecure but being in an abusive relationship for 15+ years will do that to a person. @ghostwolf
We're in a long term relationship and have had lots of talks as well as practice of the things that we like in bed, my partner is ftm but is non binary and to be honest it's more of a sexuality issue I suppose as I've no problem with female partners that they have but they decided before we met that they needed to explore their sexuality a bit and slept with a gay man. This is the bit that I can't get my head past.

Aronia 02/05/2018

Maybe it’s not you. Honestly, if my partner said to me that he was confused out his sexuality or identity or anything else, I m not sure if I would feel secure in that relationship.
I trusted one person in my life with this subject and then he ended up having affairs with the opposite sex. There is nothing I could have done to help him somehow or make it better.
I have no experience with binary people or trans, it hasn’t to be difficult.
I hope you can find happiness and security with your partner.

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