Hi All,

I havent posted here in a while but I am really hurting today and literally can't get out of bed.

I'll start by sharing my story. I met a guy online (Bumble) and we hit things off even before we met in person. He gave me endless attention, texting me every minute, sending me songs, he made me a playlist with all of my favorite music. The first night we saw each other we ran around til 4AM and spent the remainder of the night making out at his apartment. A few things to note- he invited me out but I paid for almost all of the drinks and the uber ride to the next bar/his apartment, etc.

The day after our date he was giving me endless attention again. He talked about going to various concerts, taking vacations together, etc.

He asked to see me the day after. His friend ended up joining us and again we stayed up til like 5AM. I also paid for his friends dinner, and some of the drinks. I remember his friend ordered a round of drinks and I exclaimed that it was nice of his friend to refill my glass, and my guy made a comment like "Well, it's going on my tab so what's the difference?"

This night we slept together. He told me he was falling for me, that he thought about me constantly every day, that he has never felt so connected or so close to someone...just really really intense feelings. When we slept together it didn't go so well....it was kind of devoid of romance and just happened really quickly.

The next morning I pushed him away. I was really overwhelmed by the amount of emotion I felt from him the night before, and was surprised at how badly the sexual experience went. I also had had a really difficult week and was very sick that week, my phone stopped working, I had a project to do the next morning that did not go so well because I had basically no sleep, etc.

When I opened up to him and told him how depressed I was the next day, and how I wished we had waited before we slept together, I really kind of spiraled. I sent him a lot of emotional texts. By the time nighttime rolled around, he was gone. He completely just....checked out. He was just...gone..

We were supposed to go on a romantic date that Sunday and I had asked him if he still wanted to go on the date, and he agreed that it would be a good idea and that maybe we could put all the heaviness of the week behind us. I waited all day on Sunday and didnt hear anything from him. I spent the whole day crying in my bed waiting by my phone. Eventually around 5pm I texted him asking if we were even going to go to the beach anymore. He told me that he was so tired and so lazy and feeling so introverted and that he just wanted to lay on his couch.

A few hours later he called me and told me he felt guilty. I offered to pay for his uber so that he could come to my house (a 25 minute drive for him), but regardless, I wanted to pay for his uber. Even so, he told me he was too lazy and too tired.

10pm rolled around and he called me again telling me that he felt bad and that I should come to his place.

I rushed over to his place and the energy was very awkward. He started kissing me and I had hoped that maybe we could sleep together and rekindle the closeness we had shared. As I was about to sleep with him he said, "I don't feel anything. I feel dead inside, I'm not in the mood" and I ran to the other room, quickly got dressed, and was a complete crying mess. As I was crying he gave me a hug and I got mascara on his shirt. He started rubbing the mascara off his shirt as I was crying...like I wasnt even in the room. Then he talked about how tired he was and how he needed to clean his apartment. I walked out of there with my tail between my legs, just crying hysterically.

The next day he basically just called things off. I was so desperate to get him back. I bought him tickets to see a concert, I bought him a record player (he said he had always wanted one). I wanted to show him that I could fix this. That I was so so wrong for pushing him away and that I wanted this. I wanted the connection...or at least a friendship after all of this.

I found that he received the record player and tickets. He texted me a week later telling me he didnt deserve my gifts, but I found out later he actually took the record player I got him and exchanged it for a nicer, more expensive one.

In any attempt to see him or contact him again he was very cold and irritated. I tried to call him for five minutes recently to ask him a question about the concert tickets and he said, sure call me. Then a few hours later he said "what exactly is this phone call going to be about" and that progressed to "my phone is on 2 percent" "actually I dont want to talk on the phone with you" "you better text me" "I cant deal with this" "don't text me" I sat in my car crying hysterically. I felt like he was just gone. He didn't care about me at all.

This whole ordeal eventually just ended with me sending him an angry text, telling him how hurt I felt from his behavior, and how I couldnt understand how someone who felt so strongly about me in the beginning could just be so cold, as nice as I tried to be in my every attempt to contact him.

That's basically my story. I am so heartbroken. I felt like I found my soulmate, like we had everything in common.....and now I'm completely worthless to him, and to top it off, I've said hurtful things to him, which I am so so ashamed about. I texted him last night just apologizing and telling him that I forgive him and that I really wish him the best and don't want to hold any anger towards him. He never responded. This feels like such a huge loss. What do I do?