Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Help...

his_girl_
his_girl_

My name is Sarah, and let me first start off by saying that I live with my boyfriend. Things were so wonderful in the beginning, now they've become strained and seemingly tiresome.


What I mean by this is, my boyfriend works overnights at a factory an hour away until four in the morning. That's not the problem. The problem is, when he gets home (as of a week ago) he's been ignoring me to spend countless hours on the computer. Now, I know he isn't cheating on me or whatever. Even though both of us have unfortunately put each other through hell in that department.


Anyway, I keep wondering if I've simply become boring to him. This may seem incredibly stupid, but I am in love with him. Like really in love. He's the first guy I've ever moved in with and considered a serious boyfriend. I don't want to be selfish and ask him to immediately come to bed when he gets home, but, lately I've been feeling so needy. I've brought this up to him and he's assured me that everything is seemingly fine. I don't know if it's just my anxiety getting to me or what. I just know that if things don't change soon, this relationship is going to fail miserably.


Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Aronia
Aronia
The sudden change in behavior means something is wrong.
What was the morning routine before that ?
his_girl_
his_girl_
The morning routine was I'd wake up, make coffee, maybe get him something to eat, make him lunch, and then take him to work. Since he's been working nights, he doesn't really want the coffee anymore for some reason. I still make him lunch, but I no longer take him to work since he wants to drive himself. I mean, I get it, driving back and forth an hour can put serious mileage on the car. I don't know, he's just been very distant and grumpy with me. I'm starting to think it's me. Maybe he isn't feeling the same for me anymore? That's the thought that bugs me the most, honestly.
Aronia
Aronia
I worked nights before and it is really difficult. After work all I wanted to do was sit quietly and not be disturbed.
If he is not getting enough sleep, the fatigue may be ruining his mood and energy levels. Let him settle into his routine and see what happens. He may be having a hard time adjusting to night work
his_girl_
his_girl_
Well, he and I just had an argument a few minutes ago. He was playing his mind games with me, assuming I did something with a former friend, (which I hadn't, and I told him this countless times already,) well, the argument escalated and now I just feel miserable and drained. He's still at work while this is going on.
And, he's been working nights for almost half a year now. I'm not trying to rush him, because I really want what's best for him, I just feel like he doesn't feel the same way about my mental health. I honestly can't stop crying. I just want us to go back to normal. I'm so exhausted due to this... it's unfair to the both of us.
Aronia
Aronia
This is a bit of a confusing piece of info, can you explain a little more ? What are the mental health problems ?
Why is the former friend in the picture ?

I can tell you this - I have PTSD , which is under good control, but sometimes I have bad days. My last bf treats me with nothing but respect and actually helped me get through the bad days, not argue with me or make me feel worse.
When someone truly cares about you, they realize that you have problems and support you:
When a man doesn't care, they will use it as a weapon to make you feel incompetent and crazy , because you had a bad day. Then they remind you of this when they try to win an argument with you.
If he does this to you, then it is prelude of what kind of whirlpool of sh-t is going to come later.
Lenoire
Lenoire
Check his computer history, and that should satisfy your curiosity. If it's been deleted, that would be a red flag, so check his phone for texts and calls. I can't tell you how many people come on here saying, "I know he's not cheating."

Some people think they're invincible, believing their partners could never and would never cheat. Anyone who is in a relationship believes this, no loyal partner suspects their other to cheat, not until they find a smoking gun.

If his mood has suddenly changed, and you both have a history of seeing people from your past, chances are he's doing something he shouldn't be with someone else.

Wishing you well.