Healthy Relationships Support Group

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Healthy Anger?

koolman
koolman
I think a certain amount of anger is OK, in the sense that you know you have self-worth and you'll be damned if you're going to let someone disrespect, disregard or attempt to maniuplate you in a way that is not healthy for you. Anger perhaps not directed toward the other person (unless they do something that disrespects, disregards or attempts to manipulate you), but anger directed into sports and pursuits that one is really good at.

Anger is a survival mechanism. Call it selfish, but it is really self-PRESERVATION. Even in a relationship, we are individuals, and, when someone is eating us alive in an unhealthy way, anger gives us the resolve to address or confront the situation that we don't like, or simply walk away while we still have our dignity and health intact.

I'd never condone violence, but sometimes anger directed towards verbal assertiveness in a conversation is our defense mechanism against what we DON'T want in our lives and souls so that we can devote energy to what we DO want. There are other emotions, certainly, like love, but, when you feel unloved in return or disrespected, it's time to bone up and develop some self-love and self-respect, where, chances are, others will love and respect us too.

Agree?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I think anger, like anything else in life can be good in moderation. Meaning anger can be a powerful emotion in which people have a lot of passion. The way it is used, however, can be either destructive or constructive. Someone who is angry with themselves for getting too overweight or lazy for example can do one of two things. They can use that anger and the powerful emotions felt to push themselves to diet and exercise and have a better life. Or they can sit on the sofa, eat more potato chips and feel worse about themselves. Someone who is angry at a law or policy for example, can either choose to let that anger control them- and become an extremely argumentative individual that nobody wants to be around, or they can use that energy to work hard and try to change it.

Anger itself is just an emotion. What people do with it is what makes anger good or bad.
koolman
koolman
Thx.

It sure feels GOOD to divert it into exercise!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know about this Ive heard that depression is a form of anger minus the enthusiasm.
koolman
koolman
Interesting, and probably true in my case LOL.

At least it's energy devoted to something external, rather than directed inward on myself.
ChiTownBear
ChiTownBear
Anger is an emotion and can be good and bad. I tis all based on how you manage it and what you use it for.
koolman
koolman
Good for career, making money and physical fitness, bad for a relationship, unless both people get off on the motivation anger provides to propel them toward in their careers, making money and physical fitness. That's my feeling anyway. Thanks, folks--great discussion!
rose3
rose3
Anger, like the rest of our emotions, is very important. It lets know when something needs addressing. However, dealing with our concerns in anger isn't constructive (dealing with situations while angry can be destructive - our thinking isn't rational during this time and we may come across in offensive ways that we don't mean to).

It's important to acknowledge the anger, and then to decide what your options are regarding how your going to deal with the situation that is causing the anger.

Feeling anger, and using it as a guide, and allowing it to help you to pay attention to the situations in your life, so you can improve and resolve or change things is a healthy way to use it.

All the best Koolman.
koolman
koolman
Thanks.