You have to decide what's right for you.... It sounds like you really love your husband..

My marriage(s) more then one failed..

I remember watching the Dr Phil show once and he said marriage isn't 50/50 it's 100/100 percent working to make it work

If you love your husband and want to make it work maybe make it more about also fulfilling his needs.... Perhaps if it starts things can fall back into place

Dress up for a special date night.... Flirt like when you were dating … Ask him to wear that special scent

I hope that you can work through this.... Sometimes things don't 'just happen' … We have to make them happen

Big hug... I hope that you can work through the problem.....xo

So what if scheduling isn’t sexy. It gives your spouse something to look forward to and it gives you time to get in the right mindset.

I totally get what you are going through. I’m 54 and started perimenopause about 10 years ago and my sex drive just took a nose dive. I literarily force myself to have sex sometimes because I feel if I don’t it’s just a slippery slope to living like roommates.

I agree on the effort. Sometimes if I act like I’m into it, I find I start to get into it.

I would like to share some medical knowledge with you that I gathered from my lengthy career.
1. There is some anecdotal evidence that during hysterectomy, especially open one, some nerve endings get cut and contribute to loss of libido in some patients.
2. If you subconsciously perceived the surgery as an assault on your body, it can carry unfavorable consequences for your sexuality. By subconscious assault I mean that some people subconsciously view surgery or any kind of intervention as disruption of wholeness of their bodies as they knew it before. I personally would be very unhappy if I had this done to me. I am not sure that I would enjoy sex the same after that surgery.
3. If you have ovarian dysfunction, it would disrupt the normal process of hormone production and also decrease your libido.

So, I guess what I am saying is that if your relationship is healthy and it is a matter of zero interest in sex, then you can ask an endocrinologist or a good internist GYN to test your hormone levels. Maybe you could use a little estrogen/progesterone/testosterone cocktail to balance things out.

Either way - if your husband wants you sexually, it is best to find a way to make it work.. even if you are not into it. Rejection doesn’t feel good when it comes to sex..
you are in a tough spot, I hope it works out !!

I have to schedule lots of activities that I enjoy and that make be feel good about myself - a manicure, a good cut and color at the hair salon, a nice dinner, a good evening out, an invigorating bike ride or hike or gym workout, a relaxing yoga session. I "make" time for all these activities because they make me feel good about me - and that is a priority. If I just left these things to happenstance, I would probably not reap the rewards of "being good to myself" very frequently.

Why would fostering a loving relationship with my husband be any different?

Hi zombea79,
Well if I ever have this issue I know just where to look to right above at Suncloud,rmb,Ariona and Yard_Eggs suggestions.The advice I believe will work. Encourage yourself because of your love that you have for him. Take it step by step applying all methods as discussed above. Best of Luck your way Hug!.

My wife is going through peri menopause and is NOT been so interested. At times it can get me a bit frustrated but most of the time I adjust my perspective. I give her a long leg/foot massage which she loves. She’ll be naked often and this intimacy goes a long way to satisfy both our needs. And like rmb said, there are times when we can get her there. I would suggest trying this: tell him you are in the mood to be loving touched and could he try to make it about being close not sexual. Maybe you need to build up some trust and confidence in yourself. Personally, while I miss the sex, I love how much closer we have become just by me putting my desire on simmer for a while. Of course I am hoping that things change ( after the hot flashes fade:). But whatever comes we have learned a lot about each other this past year or two. I value this more. Ps, an added perk to being arousd and not having that lead to release every time is that my stamina when we do play is much better.

Thank you all for your replies. This all gives me a lot of think about and some hope

I agree you should work on getting your happy sparks back.
Get dressed up, go on romantic dates.
Making time for you and him is important.
On the down times talk about it, talk about what you liked about intimacy when you were young. Talk about it, even open a new chapter in your life. Write in a journal.
Embrace your inter beauty, and let him know how much you need him and his attention.
Men need help because we are not mind readers but we want to fix things.