Healthy Relationships Support Group
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In my recent post, Gross or just me I was awestruck by the sudden disgusting behaviors of someone I dated for six months that seemed to unfold all in one weekend. Something just wasnt sitting right, in addition to the gross stuff. I knew it was more than just a guy being a guy, but couldnt quite put my finger on it. And today was the light bulb moment where I learned why.
Upon looking up info about something else, I stumbled upon info about passive-aggressive behavior (from credible sources) and it was an ah-ha moment that moment where things click. After being stunned by the consistencies, I realized I dodged a major bullet by following my gut, and backing off.
Ill spare you all the jargon by simply saying that what presents itself as a smile, can sometimes be a disguise for carefully veiled acts of hostility (or unhealthy relationship). In my case, there were consistent little incidents of what seemed like disregard or disrespect (it was very subtle), and withholding of things that most people do for each other. Im sure in time it would have gotten worse, had I let it continue. Thankfully, I didnt.
Im very glad I followed that little voice within saying something is off here and backed off in good time from what at first seemed so sweet and innocent.
I thought Id post this update, in case it might be helpful to someone else going through something similar.
Im also glad I communicated with you guys about it. Thanks everyone for your feedback and support. Onward and upward!
Upon looking up info about something else, I stumbled upon info about passive-aggressive behavior (from credible sources) and it was an ah-ha moment that moment where things click. After being stunned by the consistencies, I realized I dodged a major bullet by following my gut, and backing off.
Ill spare you all the jargon by simply saying that what presents itself as a smile, can sometimes be a disguise for carefully veiled acts of hostility (or unhealthy relationship). In my case, there were consistent little incidents of what seemed like disregard or disrespect (it was very subtle), and withholding of things that most people do for each other. Im sure in time it would have gotten worse, had I let it continue. Thankfully, I didnt.
Im very glad I followed that little voice within saying something is off here and backed off in good time from what at first seemed so sweet and innocent.
I thought Id post this update, in case it might be helpful to someone else going through something similar.
Im also glad I communicated with you guys about it. Thanks everyone for your feedback and support. Onward and upward!
Thank you for sharing!
So I am guessing you broke it off with him?
What did you say? "Hey you are passive aggressive!"
Or "you fart too much!!" LOL!!!
hahahahaha, sorry I couldn't resist!
I am so glad you got out and are happy.
I communicated my concerns to him about the gross weekend stuff Tues (I mentioned how that went in the previous post), but although he came clean about it, something still wasn't sitting right with me, and I basically let him know it - something along the lines of not feeling respected and not being compatible, etc. To which he still tried to push the issue, mentioning all the things we planned to do together... But it was all just enough for me, at that point, and I stopped communicating, feeling I'd gotten my point across.
It was only today that I fully realized that it was probably everything adding up (the passive-aggressive stuff), not something I've talked to him about. He can sort his stuff out on his own!