Healthy Relationships Support Group
No relationship is perfect. A long-term relationship requires constant effort to understand each other, fix misunderstandings, solve problems and continue to grow as both individuals change and evolve. How we deal with our misunderstandings is the focus of this community. Join us to find support, get advice, and share your experience with your relationship.
To get straight to the point, my girlfriend does not like socializing with my friends and I find it rather odd as my exes have had no such problem as my friends are an easy going bunch of both sexes and all kinds of orientation (straight and gay). We're pretty much the casual, unpretentious group who would choose bbq and beer over a fancy night out in an expensive club.
To add to the problem I am having my birthday celebrations this weekend and what I would usually do is gather all my favorite people over for some a simple meal and drinks. My girlfriend has politely declined but I feel rather hurt as this is the only time in a year I would like to have everyone dearest and closest to me.
Her reasoning was that she feels socializing is very draining but I feel its not true as she is always out about town with her own friends and she is quite popular as she has many social engagements. I also feel it is rather unhealthy in a relationship if my girlfriend is not involved in my social circle and vice versa. She likes to keep her friends and me separate and she thinks its weird that I am constantly trying to include her in my social outings with my friends.
I don't ask for a lot but its one important day in the year for me to have the people I love around me and I don't understand this behavior of hers and neither do my friends. My friends have been trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible when she is around. Should I just leave her be? I just think its odd for her to be sociable around other people but not with my group of friends.
To add to the problem I am having my birthday celebrations this weekend and what I would usually do is gather all my favorite people over for some a simple meal and drinks. My girlfriend has politely declined but I feel rather hurt as this is the only time in a year I would like to have everyone dearest and closest to me.
Her reasoning was that she feels socializing is very draining but I feel its not true as she is always out about town with her own friends and she is quite popular as she has many social engagements. I also feel it is rather unhealthy in a relationship if my girlfriend is not involved in my social circle and vice versa. She likes to keep her friends and me separate and she thinks its weird that I am constantly trying to include her in my social outings with my friends.
I don't ask for a lot but its one important day in the year for me to have the people I love around me and I don't understand this behavior of hers and neither do my friends. My friends have been trying to make her feel as comfortable as possible when she is around. Should I just leave her be? I just think its odd for her to be sociable around other people but not with my group of friends.
I can somewhat understand her not wanting to mix with your friends all of the time, but she should involve herself now and again even if just out of courtesy, especially so when your friends welcome her within your group.
Other than that I think having separate friends in the relationship is a very good idea in general.
That's okay, we all have our standards. It's not something I could change in him, or me. Sometimes people just don't fit. If your okay with separate friends, then that's fine, if your not then you may have to consider if this is a good fit. But in the end, know that, things are unlikely to change. It's not about whose right or wrong, but about what you want in a relationship, and the reality of what it is.