Thats a tough one. The problem is, will one of his friends tell him? If his friends tell him before you do then it might not come out very well for you. You can tell him but that may end your relationship. And then if you don't and he finds out, that will end your relationship. Its a tough one.

You have to do what you feel the right thing is in your heart.
If you don't tell him, I will tell you. This will hang over your relationship and not in a good way.

For you to ask the question, you must feel guilt somewhere within you. You need to do whats best for you.

No, you didn't do anything "wrong," but he'll find out one way or another. Personally, I'd rather it was *me* that did the telling, than somebody else. You don't *have* to tell him, but if you really feel like you have to come clean, find a way to ask if he was seeing anyone in the time you were seperated... letting this lead into your revealing that you were with other ppl, too. If he asks if it was anyone he knows, be honest and say "yes." If he presses the issue, then tell him the whole truth. But be sure to remind him that you were both free agents. Yeah, it was a mistake(s), but we live & learn, right? :)

I say don't tell him. You weren't together, so you weren't cheating. If it will only hurt him, then don't. Give your relationship a chance doll Good luck!

True, it wasn't cheating, but what position will she be in when he hears about it from someone else? Someone who may just be gossiping? I really do think it's better if she broaches the subject herself by starting a conversation.

How do you know HE didn't hook up with somebody else? In which case, nobody will get hurt by telling. Coming clean could be the best thing both of you do. Trouble is, you hooked up with HIS FRIENDS...potentially sticky situation...I think you should be the one to do the telling instead of one of them...just my opinion. Will affect his relationship with you and his friends, but better to come clean, because he's going to continue to hang out with his friends, and it's going to come out, one way or another...

Eactly, Koolman. There's a very real chance that he *was* out with other women so she shouldn't feel guilty. The big issue is that she was with his friends. That changes the equation...a LOT!

If the situation were reversed, and she'd gone away while he was intimate w/ her girlfriends back home, that *would* change how she looks at the renewed relationship, as well as the ppl involved. I think "ebrady" knows this and wants her chance to explain. Whether or not he understands & can deal with the "hows & whys" is up to him, but a clean slate is always best... better he hear it from her than as some random gossip from someone who might add all sorts of nastiness to it and blow it out of proportion.

Yeah. Thanks for the responses. I've had a lot of time to think about this, and basically i did ask him if he saw anyone else during the separation, and he said no. I was prepared to answer truthfully if he returned the question to me, but he didn't... Which struck me as odd.

I did think about if he would have done the same to one of my friends, but I think I'd understand in the sense that if it were flipped around, then I would be the one not wanting the commitment that he wanted. If that makes any sense.

I know his friends aren't going to say anything to him, they rarely see each other or talk. But Andie's right. I DO want my chance to explain. Getting caught hiding something is never good. I'm waiting for a good time/finding the right way to say it.

Good luck, E. :)